Best Blenders Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

Source: Me and My Shadows: A Family Memoir

“Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.”

Hands Fun Aging Glasses Getting Old Getting Older Chewing Blenders

“The time has come to knock off this religion business in American politics. There's no end to the mischief that can occur. It is like putting nitroglycerine in a Waring blender.”

Ends Atheism Positive Atheism American Politics Mischief Blenders

Author:Lowell P. Weicker, Jr.

“Even though I have fond feelings for comedy clubs, I enjoy the focus you get in a theater. Comedy clubs are a different animal. People are being served nachos and there's a blender going off in the background.”

People Different Feelings Enjoy Animal Comedy Focus Theater Clubs Backgrounds Comedy Clubs Different Animals Blenders Nachos

Author:Brian Regan

“Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.”

Ifs Way Happens Faces Break Modern Covered Modern Life Appliances Blenders Warranty

Author:Andy Rooney

“Wrangham cites several studies indicating that in fact humans don't do well on raw food: they can't maintain their body weight, and half of the women on a raw-food regimen stop menstruating. Devotees of raw food rely heavily on juicers and blenders, because otherwise they would have to spend as much time chewing as the chimps do. It is difficult, if not impossible, to extract sufficient energy from unprocessed plant matter to power a body with such a big, hungry brain.”

Source: Cooked: A Natural History of Transformation

“I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".”

Want Doe Humor Seems Funny Jobs Easy Add Kitchen Refrigerators Appliances Toasters Blenders

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio.”

Humor Funny Parent Radio Like Me Toys Bathtubs Blenders Transistors

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“I'm not really caught up with celebrity women. I think a regular girl that goes to school or works at a Complex or Spin or Blender or whatever, one of those magazines. She'd probably be flyer to me than the person she's writing about.”

Thinking Writing Persons School Girl Complexes Caught Magazines Caught Up Flyers Blenders

Author:Wale

“Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick”

Ifs Life Real Home Humor Running Wanted Funny House Energy Cooks Ran Electricity Static Balloons Sweaters Blenders

Author:Steven Wright

“I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."”

Humor Funny Used Phones Used To Be Blenders

Author:Steven Wright

“I'm just a one-instrument player. I have been known to play a blender, but I basically play - just play the violin.”

Has Beens Play Known Player Instruments Violin Blenders

Author:Itzhak Perlman

“I use quite a bit in my kitchen, but the one thing that's an absolute must would have to be my high-speed blender.”

Use Bits One Thing Absolutes Speed Kitchen High Speed Blenders

Author:Margaret Chapman

“What's impossible not to notice, though - it's all around us - is the diminution of American prose: How pedestrian it has become. Pick up any short story and listen to its voice, the tedious easy vernacular that mistakes transcription for realism. This would display an understandable pragmatism if it were a pandering to common-denominator readers; but it is, in fact, a kind of hifalultin literary ideology, the less-is-more Hemingway legacy put through an up-to-the-minute industrial blender.”

“Kids are great in that they keep you on your toes. They're like a puzzle... in a blender, haha. You have to take the pieces out and try to put it together on the fly.”

Trying Kids Together Pieces Toes Puzzles Haha Blenders

Author:Raheem Jarbo

“As MBA professors endlessly tell their students, companies do best when they stick to what they do well. There's a reason Apple doesn't make blenders. There's a reason Haagen-Dazs doesn't sell meat. And there's a reason drug companies should focus on saving and improving lives - not jeopardizing them.”

Should Wells Reason Company Focus Students Drug Sells Sticks Saving Meat Apples Professors Improving Mba Blenders Drug Companies

Author:Jeffrey Kluger

“Wine lovers have known for centuries that decanting wine before serving it often improves its flavor. Whatever the dominant process, the traditional decanter is a rather pathetic tool to accomplish it. A few years ago, I found I could get much better results by using an ordinary kitchen blender.”

Years Found Process Results Known Century Lovers Ordinary Years Ago Tools Wine Accomplish Traditional Kitchen Serving Dominant Flavor Pathetic Wine Lovers Blenders

Author:Nathan Myhrvold

“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”

Years Kind Children Two Funny Boys Laughter Humorous Parenting Witty Two Years Parenthood Being A Parent Funny Parenting Two Year Olds Funny Parent Blenders

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“Science fiction is like a blender - you can put in any historical experience and take influences from everything you see, read or experience.”

Fiction Influence Science Fiction Historical Blenders

Author:Joss Whedon

“Mr. Smith yelled at the doctor, What have you done to my boy? He's not flesh and blood, he's aluminum alloy!" The doctor said gently, What I'm going to say will sound pretty wild. But you're not the father of this strange looking child. You see, there still is some question about the child's gender, but we think that its father is a microwave blender.”

Thinking Children Said Stills Done Father Sound Boys Blood Strange Doctors Gender Flesh Flesh And Blood My Boys Microwaves Aluminum Blenders

Author:Tim Burton

“Dear Die-ary, today I stuffed some dolls full of dead rats I put in the blender. I'm wondering if, maybe, there really is something wrong with me.”

Ifs Today Dies Wonder Dear Rats Dolls Blenders

Author:Jhonen Vasquez

“Have you ever wanted to put your head in a blender and turn on the liquefy switch? (Tate)”

Wanted Turns Turn-on Blenders

Book:Dream Chaser

Source: Dream Chaser

“Hi, Max," she said, pushing her shades up onto her curls. "I hope your wearing sunscreen," i said, “your gonna have hella wrinkles by the time your ten.” “Want some daiquiri?” she offered, pointing at a blender. “Is it traitor flavored?” I asked.”

Want Said Ten Pushing Shade Pointing Max Wrinkles Traitor Curls Sunscreen Blenders

Book:Maximum Ride: Fang: Dystopian Science Fiction

Source: Maximum Ride: Fang: Dystopian Science Fiction

“Quarkbeasts, for all their fearsome looks, are obedient to a fault. They are nine-tenths velociraptor and kitchen blender and one-tenth Labrador. It was the Labrador tenth that I valued most.”

Looks Faults Nine Kitchen Obedient Blenders Labradors

Author:Jasper Fforde

“Shame on you, Crispin. Married how long, and you haven't spanked your wife with a metal spatula yet?" I'd gotten used to Ian's assumption that everyone was as perverted as he was, so I didn't miss a beat. "We prefer blender beaters for our kitchen utensil kink," I said with a straight face. Bones hid his smile behind his hand, but Ian looked intrigued. "I haven't tried that ... oh, you're lying, aren't you?" "Ya think?" I asked with a snort. Ian gave a sigh of exaggerated patience and glanced at Bones. "Being related to her through you is a real trial.”

“Looking to any angry, anxious, or otherwise stressed emotional state to help you sort out the pain you're in is like trying to organize your monthly bills by throwing them into a blender”

Trying States Helping Pain Emotional Stress Angry Bills Throwing Anxious Organize Stressed Blenders

Author:Guy Finley

“She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.”

Said Humor Funny Bread Chairs Makers Electric Funny Marriage Gadgets Toasters Blenders Electric Chair

Author:Red Skelton

“When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.”

Writing Ideas Draws Bad Ideas Chameleon Blenders

Author:Stephan Pastis

“Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep...in a giant blender.”

Sleep Giants Going To Sleep Crocodiles Blenders

Author:Homer

“Some of these bulls are gonna' spin those cowboys so fast, they'll look like a frog in a blender.”

Looks Cowboy Bulls Frogs Blenders

Author:Wayne White

“I'm trying to photosynthesize like a plant. I'm off eating. Although I am making a lot of banana daiquiries in my room in the blender I've got, with lots of powdered vitamins in them. This tour I'm going to get some Afghani hangings and put them in my room, so that my hotel rooms look like mosques.”

Trying Looks Rooms Eating Plant Hotel Bananas Vitamins Hotel Rooms Mosques Blenders

Author:Jimmy Page

“When I'm 18, I can finally order that paid programming stuff on TV. Like it always says, 'Must be 18 or older to call,' so I'll be able to call! I can finally buy some blenders from the TV.”

I Can Able Order Stuff Tvs Paid Programming Blenders

Author:Austin Mahone

“You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.”

Ifs Looks Children Home Eye Kids Asks Exciting Blenders

Author:Erma Bombeck

“All reality is a blender where hopes and dreams are mixed with fear and despair.”

Dream Reality Despair Hopes And Dreams Blenders

Book:Counting by 7s

Source: Counting by 7s

“I'm a mess right now I can't eat can't sleep Bills are piling high ain't worked in three weeks Ain't bathed can't shave cause my heart is so tender like living in a blender I'm shaken and I'm stirred”

Heart I Can Three Causes Sleep Week My Heart Right Now Bills Mess Can't Sleep Blenders

Author:Anthony Hamilton

“Economics played a role. Raleighs have gone from six fifty to nine dollars a carton, but there's a three-quarter cent coupon on the back. You can get all kinds of things with them, blenders, everything. I saved up enough one time and got Al Bumbry.”

Kind Enough Three Roles Gone Six Economics Dollars Saved Nine All Kinds Fifty Als Quarters One Time Cents Blenders Raleigh

Author:Earl Weaver

“Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.”

Reason Age Funny Night Order Humorous Wake Up Eighty Steak Blenders

Author:Bob Hope

“Having a 2 year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for.”

Years Blenders

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

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Blenders Quotes