Funny Comedian Quotes
Browse 33 quotes about Funny Comedian.
Related topics
Funny Comedian Quotes
“Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.”
“By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”
“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.”
“I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.”
“I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.”
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”
“I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?”
“I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
“I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.”
“If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.”
“I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'”
“Chihuahua. There's a waste of dog food. Looks like a dog that is still far away.”