Golf Jokes Quotes
Browse 56 quotes about Golf Jokes.
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Golf Jokes Quotes
“The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.”
“If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.”
“If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”
“It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.”
“I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.”
“Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.”
“If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.”
“It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.”
“The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.”
“Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.”
“One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.”
“The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.”
“The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.”
“Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.”
“May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.”
“I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.”
“If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.”
“Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.”
“My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.”
“I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.”
“These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.”
“Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.”
“I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.”
“The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.”
“The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.”
“Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.”
“They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.”
“Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.”