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Moose Quotes

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Moose Quotes

“A moose can and will murder the unwary in ways obvious to improbable. They can trample you, the pressure of tons of muscle and bone turning your own into jelly. Their antlers pose an understandable risk not merely of goring at thirty-five miles an hour but picking up your limp body and tossing it over a cliff. As though this was an insufficient threat, their nostrils may house bumblebee-like Cephenemyia ulrichii, flies unable to distinguish between moose nasal cavities and human eye sockets when spraying their larvae. You wouldn’t die, but you would need immediate medical attention to prevent significant injury and certain embarrassment when your friends found out.”

EyeDeathDieGoreMooseCliffFliesAntlers
Book:Holidays with Bigfoot
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“Big Brown Moose I'm a big brown moose, I'm a rascally moose, I'm a moose with a tough, shaggy hide; and I kick and I prance in a long-legged dance with my moose-mama close by my side. I shrug off the cold and I sneeze at the wind and I swivel my ears in the snow; and I tramp and I tromp over forest and swamp, 'cause there's nowhere a moose cannot go. I'm a big brown moose, I'm a ravenous moose as I hunt for the willow and yew; with a snort and a crunch, I rip off each bunch, and I chew and I chew and I chew. When together we slump in a comfortable clump -- my mountainous mama and I -- I give her a nuzzle of velvety muzzle. Our frosty breath drifts to the sky. I'm a big brown moose, I'm a slumberous moose, I'm a moose with a warm, snuggly hide; and I bask in the moon as the coyotes croon, with my moose-mama close by my side.”

PoetryNatureWinterAnimalsMoose
Book:Winter Bees & Other Poems of the Cold
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“That wasn't a moose was it?" Janelle said when Stevie was out of earshot. "that's a branch, right? it moved in the wind?" "It's a branch". Nate replied. "Like, that's obviously a branch," Vi said. "Should we tell her? She seems really invested in this." "Definitely not," Nate said as Stevie vanished in the direction of the classroom buildings, earbuds already in her ears. "Let her have her moose.”

MooseNateJanelleStevie BellViEllingham Buddies
Book:The Hand on the Wall
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“My stay in Camp Betty was the longest I'd been without drink or drugs in my adult life. [...] At first, they put me in a room with a guy who owned a bowling alley, but he snored like an asthmatic horse, so I moved and ended up with a depressive mortician. [...] The mortician snored even louder than the bowling alley guy - he was like a moose with a tracheotomy.”

FirstsGuyRoomsDrinkDrugAdultsHorseMovedCampsAlleysBowlingDepressiveMooseBowling AlleysMorticians
Author:Ozzy Osbourne
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“If the Americans, in addition to the eagle and the Stars and Stripes and the more unofficial symbols of bison, moose and Indian, should ever need another emblem, one which is friendly and pleasant, then I think they should choose the grapefruit. Or rather the half grapefruit, for this fruit only comes in halves, I believe. Practically speaking, it is always yellow, always just as fresh and well served. And it always comes at the same, still hopeful hour of the morning.”

IfsThinkingNeedsShouldBelieveWellsStillsAmericaI BelieveStarsHoursHalfMorningFruitSymbolsIndianPleasantHopefulFriendlyYellowEaglesStripesEmblemsMooseGrapefruitBison
Author:Johan Huizinga
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“It did not take Man long-probably not more than a hundred centuries-to discover that all the animals except the dog were impossible around the house. One has but to spend a few days with an aardvark or llama, command a water buffalo to sit up and beg or try to housebreak a moose, to perceive how wisely Man set about his process of elimination and selection.”

MenTryingLongHouseProcessWaterAnimalImpossibleCenturyDogHundredCommandPerceiveSelectionEliminationBuffaloMooseLlamasWater Buffalo
Book:James Thurber: Writings & Drawings (including The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)
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“Generally speaking, there's a difference. Moose nose is just pure cartilage. It's not just the end of a chicken leg, it really is - imagine the cartilage of game meat.If I ever took the spare tire off of my car and was on a survival show, and Bear Grylls was like, "What you need to do in a survival situation is eat your tire," I'd be like, "That's moose nose!"”

IfsNeedsEndsShowsGamesDifferencesSituationImagineCarBearsPureSurvivalLegsNosesMeatChickensSparesTireMoose
Author:Adam Richman
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“I’m beginning to sense a theme,” Mircea said, tossing his suit coat over a buckskin-covered chair. A moose head with huge, outspread antlers loomed over it, its bright glass eyes looking oddly lifelike in the low light. Mircea took in the room, his expression slightly repulsed yet fascinated. “I believe there is only one thing to say at this point.” What’s that?” Yee haw,” he said gravely, and took me down like a rodeo calf.”

BelieveSaidLightEyeI BelieveRoomsOne ThingExpressionHugeLowsGlassesSuitsThemeChairsOver ItCoveredFascinatedCoatsCalvesRodeoMooseEyes LookingAntlers
Book:Cassie Palmer Novels 1-5
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“Let's go. We're supposed to rendezvous with the Captain at the lake. Oh, and try to keep the noise down. You sound like a panicked moose crashing through the woods," the smarter man chided. "Oh yeah. Like you could hear me over your specially trained 'woodland-animal footsteps,'" Rough Voice countered. "It was like listening to two deer humping each other.”

MenTryingTwoSoundVoiceAnimalLike YouListeningYeahWoodsNoiseLakesRoughSmarterCaptainsFootstepsDeerWoodlandMooseRendezvous
Book:Poison Study
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