“I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.”
Humorous Golf Quotes
Browse 33 quotes about Humorous Golf.
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Humorous Golf Quotes
“If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.”
“If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”
“If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.”
“The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.”
Source: Delphi Complete Works of H. G. Wells
Source: The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill
“Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.”
“The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.”
“I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.”
“I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.”
“Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.”
“Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.”
Source: Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People
“My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.”
“I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.”
“These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.”
“I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.”
“The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.”
“Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out.”
“If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.”
Source: Farewell to Sport
“They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.”
“I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.”
“Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.”
“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.”