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Funny Bar Quotes

Browse 24 quotes about Funny Bar.

Funny Bar Quotes

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

Source: The Good Life According to Hemingway

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”

Source: The Good Life According to Hemingway

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”

“Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.”

“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”

“What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?”

“Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.”

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”

“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”

Source: Real Frank Zappa Book

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

Source: The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind Is Beer: And Other Manly Insights from Dave Barry

“I drink to make other people interesting.”

Source: The World of George Jean Nathan: Essays, Reviews, & Commentary

“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.”

Source: Real Frank Zappa Book

“Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.”

“Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.”

“Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.”

“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”

“Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.”

“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.”

“I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.”

Source: What Every Christian Ought to Know

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.”

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”