Best Bartending Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“That shit where the dark, dashing stranger comes in and charms the pants off a bartender, literally, and fucks her at break time in the bathroom or in a back alley or closet? Only happens in the movies, or on cable TV. In real life, it takes months and an actual friendship to be able to fuck your bartender, and even then it’ll have to be done on the sly. Shit’s bad for business.”

Sex Business Bars Bartending

Book:In Limbo

Source: In Limbo

“How special it was, that first sip, and each sip that came after. How it had settled and warmed her, made her feel that she was welcome. That's what Sara did.”

Serving Welcoming Bartending

Book:Yerba Buena

Source: Yerba Buena

“Sorry, one night stands don't stack up as credentials for tending bar.”

Sarcasm Snark Bartending One Night Stands

Book:Stolen Petals

Source: Stolen Petals

“When I was in N.Y. bartending, I was in a billion music videos. I was in Madonna, George Michael, Salt-n-Pepa - it goes on and on.”

Goes On Billions Video Salt Bartending

Author:Pauley Perrette

“I was out in L.A. and I had gone to film school and I was out here for a couple of years. For a lot of years, I was bartending and having a good time.”

Years School Film Gone Couple Good Times Having A Good Time Film School Bartending

Author:Justin Zackham

“I toured Ontario in the winter of '48, in a touring company of The Drunkard, in which I played the bartender.”

Company Winter Touring Drunkards Bartender Ontario Bartending

Author:Jonathan Frid

“I want to be a superhero. Maybe I'll be a bartending superhero who shakes martinis to save the world.”

World Want Shakes Superhero Save The World Martini Bartending

Author:Shanola Hampton

“Bartending was definitely crazy and fun, because you got to meet so many different people. Unlike people I worked with, I did not date a lot of men that I met while I was working - it's just not what you do.”

People Men Different Fun Crazy Mets Working It Different Peoples Bartending

Author:Toby Lightman

“When I first started, my main goal was to not be bartending anymore, and to not be working at the bank anymore. I just wanted acting to be my job.”

Firsts Wanted Jobs Goal Acting Bartending

Author:Tracy Spiridakos

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.”

Thinking Should Education College Months Basketball Degrees Six Educated Six Months Bartender Going Back To School Bartending

Author:Al McGuire

“Now I need to take a piece of wood and make it sound like the railroad track, but I also had to make it beautiful and lovable so that a person playing it would think of it in terms of his mistress, a bartender, his wife, a good psychiatrist - whatever.”

Thinking Needs Persons Beautiful Sound Term Pieces Wife Track Woods Mistress Psychiatrist Railroads Lovable Bartender Railroad Tracks Bartending

Author:Les Paul

“A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.”

Book Critics Drunk Good Book Good Writers Bartender Bartending

Author:Jim Bishop

“What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?”

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”

“Sydney had been horrified to discover my home library consisted of a bartending dictionary and an old copy of Esquire, and at her pleading, I'd promised to read something more substantial. I was trying to think deep thoughts as I read Gatsby, but mostly I wanted to throw some parties.”

Thinking Trying Home Wanted Party Library Copies Deep Thought Dictionary Sydney Pleading Bartending

Book:The Fiery Heart: A Bloodlines Novel

Source: The Fiery Heart: A Bloodlines Novel

“All my graduation money went to paying for bartending classes so I could have a side gig. I bartended for two months before I was supposed to move to New York and then two months later I got the job as an understudy in 'Sister Act' and haven't looked back since.”

Inspirational Two Funny Jobs Moving Sides Class Havens New York Months Graduation Gigs Two Months Bartending Understudies Sister Act

Author:Patina Miller

“Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'”

Knows Said Comedy Beats Yeah Drinking Ugly Zombie Bartender Bartending

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”

Two Humor Truth Funny Marriage Comedy Wife Seeing Humorous My Wife Infidelity Hilarious Psychiatrist Plumber Bartender Bartending Seeing The Truth

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“An efficient bartenders first aim should be to please his customers, paying particular attention to meet the individual wishes of those whose tastes and desires he has already watched and ascertained; and, with those whose peculiarities he has had no opportunity of learning, he should politely inquire how they wish their beverages served, and use his best judgment in endeavoring to fulfill their desires to their entire satisfaction. In this way he will not fail to acquire popularity and success.”

Source: Jerry Thomas' Bartenders Guide: How to Mix All Kinds of Plain and Fancy Drinks

“I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.”

Source: What Every Christian Ought to Know

“Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”

Cases Best Things Nerves Whiskey Scotch Whisky Bartender Whiskey Drinking Scotch Whiskey Scotch Whisky Bartending

Author:W. C. Fields

Bartending Quotes

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Bartending Quotes