Home / Quotes / Quote by Dean Martin

Quote by Dean Martin

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

Quote by Dean Martin

Author

American singer and actor, renowned for his unique sense of humor and singing talent. Dean Martin was a highly influential figure in the American entertainment industry in the mid-20th century, one of the famous 'Rat Pack' entertainers. His music and performance style were deeply loved by the public, and he had a profound impact on popular culture. more

You May Also Like

“If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.”

“I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant.'”

Kids Funny Three House Seven Goodbye Pregnancy Pregnant Hello Saying Goodbye Bye Good Bye Three Words

Author:Dean Martin

“I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!”

Whole Hands Sides Drink Drinking Alcohol Beer Drank Drinking Alcohol Funny Drinking Beer Drinking Drinking Beer Great Drinking Drinking Funny Great Alcohol Funny Beer Funny Beer Drinking Sober Up

Author:Dean Martin

“There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.”

Doe Hollywood Museums Statues Jimmy Jimmy Stewart

Author:Dean Martin

“I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.”

“I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.'”

“I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.”

Knows Feels Doe Said Humor Funny Girl Names Talking Dog Like You Mets Yeah Cute Parks Liars Bites This Girl

Author:Demetri Martin

“I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'”

Funny Pieces Witty I'm Sorry Puzzles Jigsaw Jigsaw Puzzles

Author:Demetri Martin

“My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. 'Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. 'Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.'”

Ifs Knows Problem Humor Funny Moving Next Causes Chance Pieces Fruit My Favorite Stuck Apples I'm Sorry No Problem Grapes Peaches Another Chance Just Move On

Author:Demetri Martin

“I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'”

Said Humor Funny Guy Walks Journey Walking Sorry Wander Parks Hiking I'm Sorry This Guy Trekking Strolling Sauntering

Author:Demetri Martin