“Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt”
Source: Third Grave Dead Ahead
Funny Life Quotes
Browse 235 quotes about Funny Life.
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Funny Life Quotes
“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.”
“Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.”
Source: Seriously ... I'm Kidding
Source: The Name of the Star
“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
“Life tells you to take the elevator, but love tells you to take the stairs.”
Source: Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List
“Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.”
“Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.”
Source: The Charley Davidson Series
“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.”
“You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're a friend.”
Source: A Heap o' Living'
“There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.”
“Life is painful, nasty and short.. in my case it has only been painful and nasty.”
Source: Collected Poems: With Notes Toward the Memoirs
“He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.”
Source: Odd Couple One and Two
“Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.”
Source: Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin
“If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.”
“I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”
“You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.”
“Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.”
“Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?”
Source: The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose
“It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.”
“Life is like eating artichokes; you have got to go through so much to get so little.”
“Life is a maze in which we take the wrong turning before we have learned to walk.”
“I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.”
“There's birth, there's death, and in between there's maintenance.”
“I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.”
“It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.”