Funny Life Quotes
Browse 235 quotes about Funny Life.
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Funny Life Quotes
“Adventure is nothing but a romantic name for trouble.”
“Life is a near-death experience.”
“An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.”
“The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.”
“Just remember that a pat on the back is only 18 inches from a kick in the behind.”
“For most men, life is a search for the proper Manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.”
“I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!”
“I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.”
“Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.”
“A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.”
“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.”
“If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.”
“I tried to be normal once... worst two minutes of my life.”
“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”
“We are all here on earth to help others.”
“If life gives you lemons, make apple juice and make people wonder how the hell you did it.”
“Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.”