“The brain is like a TV set; when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.”
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Famous Sam Ewing Quotes
“Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.”
“Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.”
“Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands - and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.”
“Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.”
“It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.”
“An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.”
“If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.”
“The sight of home looks best after you've traveled hundreds of miles to get away from it.”
“Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.”
“Success is when your name is in everything but the telephone directory.”
“Wouldn't you like to weigh what it says on your driver's license?”
“Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.”
“If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.”
“Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.”
“I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.”
“If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.”
“Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall?”
“Highways are full of careless drivers who are always too close in front of you.”
“Nothing in the world can replace the modern swimsuit, and it practically has.”
“The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.”
“We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.”
“Don't drive as if you own the road; drive as if you own the car.”
“The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.”
“Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.”
“Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.”
“Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.”
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.”
“Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.”