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Quote by Bill Maher

“March Madnesss...the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.'”

Quote by Bill Maher

Author

Bill Maher is an American comedian, political commentator, and television host. Known for his sharp political satire and humor, he is best recognized for hosting ABC's 'Politically Incorrect'. Born on January 20, 1956, Maher's career spans television, film, and stage performances, as well as writing and producing. more

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“That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, 'She is the heavyweight champion of my life.” Which may explain why on the ride home, he was strapped to the roof of the car.”

May Said Home Wife Week Car Masters Champion Introducing Roof Romney Heavyweights

Author:Bill Maher

“Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control, you are birth control.”

Knows Needs America Guy Week Birth Morality Romney Birth Control Lecturing

Author:Bill Maher

“Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are so antithetical to theirs. I'm talking of course about the Founding Fathers, who the Teabaggers believe are just like them, but aren't. One is a group of exclusively white men who live in a bygone century, have bad teeth, and think of blacks as 3/5 of a person, and the other are the Founding Fathers.”

Thinking Men Believe Persons Values Courses Reading Father White Talking Groups Century Constitution Finished Teeth Loud White Man Founding Elitist

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“Republicans stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies and ancient books full of primitive morality and magic people. But convictions, nonetheless.”

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Book:The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

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“We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.”

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Author:Bill Maher

“Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid.”

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Author:Bill Maher

“The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and she said, 'How am I supposed to fit all this crap on my hand?”

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“Hey birthers, wanna hear my theory? My theory was that Obama was born in America and you were born with the umbilical cord around your neck.”

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Author:Bill Maher

“Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians are the only ones who won't take anything on faith?”

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“I want you teabaggers out there to understand one thing: while you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them, and smell like them, I think it's pretty clear that the Founding Fathers would have hated your guts. And what's more, you would've hated them. They were everything you despise. They studied science, read Plato, hung out in Paris and thought the Bible was mostly bulls**t.”

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Author:Bill Maher