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Quote by Demetri Martin

“After going through years of litigation to get royalties due to him, the guy who coined the term 'happily ever after' lived reasonably well for a while.”

Author

Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin is an American comedian, writer, and actor known for his unique and witty humor style. He is recognized for his sharp wit and satirical commentary, often performing in television shows, movies, and stage performances. Born on May 25, 1973, Martin's career began in New York comedy clubs. more

“When I trip, I feel like that's the world saying come here for a second. It just pulls me closer for a second, yeah what do you want? I just want to remind you that you're uncoordinated. I'm aware of that, thank you... can I go now? Yeah, you can go, but never ever try to outrun me. Ok, world, see you later. Yeah, I'll see you in about 50 years.”

World Want Feels Trying Years Yeah Outrun

Author:Demetri Martin

“Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.”

Men Taught Kings Queens Another Man Checkers

Author:Demetri Martin

“If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.”

Ifs Persons Ends Average Scream Average Person Intestines

Book:This Is a Book

Source: This Is a Book

“I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.”

Running Numbers Type Machines Running Away Pins Atm Atm Machines