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Quote by Tim Allen

“Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.”

Quote by Tim Allen

Author

Tim Allen, born on June 13, 1953, is a renowned American comedian. Known for his distinctive humor style and witty lines, he has starred in several television shows, including 'Home Improvement' and 'Last Man Standing'. Allen's comedic talent has made him a significant figure in the American television and film industry. more

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“As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.”

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“A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad's car. I don't blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don't have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.”

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“But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.”

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“Oh my God, Kennedy Airport - what a mess - all over you with those dopey security questions. 'Did you receive any gifts from any unknown persons?' Buddy, the last thing I got from an unknown person was in the 80's.”

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“Time flies, though, huh? But I feel young. And do you know how I stay feeling young, ladies and gentlemen? I'll share my secret with you: I live in a senior citizen retirement community.”

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“Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.”

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Book:When You Lie About Your Age, the Terrorists Win: Reflections on Looking in the Mirror

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“Women, stop buying the lingerie. Stop buying it right now. Oh, it's a big rip off. Oh my god, $18 bucks for panties this big? Come on, one trip through the dryer, and it's a frilly bookmark.”

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“Stand-up comedy - I love this job, and I gotta tell you, folks - knock wood - it's been working. 'Cause I was one of those kind of people, even when I had a regular job, I couldn't even call in sick right. You know, I was like, 'Hello? Yeah, I can't come in today. I have scurvy.”

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“Oh, this is fun - went to a nude beach for the first time. Yeah, that's what I thought. You ever been to a nude beach? Thought it would be all sexy and hot. Oh my God, what a flubber fest! Everybody who shouldn't be naked is naked - didn't make me want to take off my clothes, made me want to take out my contacts.”

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“Women in the workplace - we still have big strides to make. Girlfriend of mine just got a new job. First question the new boss asked her was if she could make a good cup of coffee... Yeah, she stormed right out of that Starbucks.”

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