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Quote by Steven Fry

“Steven Fry on The Da Vinci Code- "It is complete loose stoolwater. It is arse-gravy of the worst kind.”

Quote by Steven Fry

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“You cannot, it seems, let children run about the streets. People who have seen them running wild in Russia say that the sight is not a pleasant one.”

Book:A Room of One’s Own

Source: A Room of One’s Own

“Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you.”

Humor Advice Humour

Author:Herbert Beerbohm Tree

“Two whores who finally found something to mother. A guy could write a book about it, he thought bitterly, call it From Hair To Maternity. It would probly be a very long book. Whores did not produce as fast as rabbits.”

Humour Irony Metafiction

Book:From Here to Eternity

Source: From Here to Eternity

“When the bishop farted we were amused to hear about it. Should the ploughboy find treasure we must be told. But when the ploughboy farts... er... keep it to yourself.”

Book:Jake's Thing

Source: Jake's Thing

“The world is not full of crazy ninja perfume ladies!”

Humour Paranormal Romance

Book:Shadowplay

Source: Shadowplay

“As Samson demonstrated, going bald ruins lives.”

Book Humor Self Help Humour Quote Memoir Satire Empire

Book:EMPIRE: How to Succeed with Nothing but Passion, Great Ideas and a Wealthy Family

Source: EMPIRE: How to Succeed with Nothing but Passion, Great Ideas and a Wealthy Family

“Someone has to do it. It's all very well calling for eye of newt, but do you mean Common, Spotted or Great Crested? Which eye, anyway? Will tapioca do just as well? If we substitute egg white will the spell a) work b) fail or c) melt the bottom out of the cauldron? Goodie Whemper's curiosity about such things was huge and insatiable*. * Nearly insatiable. It was probably satiated in her last flight to test whether a broomstick could survive having its bristles pulled out one by one in mid-air. According to the small black raven she had trained as a flight recorder, the answer was almost certainly no.”

Book:Wyrd Sisters

Source: Wyrd Sisters

“Don’t kill her! Only maim her a little!”

Humour Magisterium Callum Hunt

Book:The Copper Gauntlet

Source: The Copper Gauntlet

“Brenna Kelly, meet Alice Price-Healy. Grandma, meet Breanna. No one is shooting, stabbing or immolating anyone in this hotel room." "Please," added Dominic. "I have to sleep here." "HAIL!" Rejoiced the mice. "HAIL THE LACK OF STABBING, SHOOTING AND FLAME!”

Humour Aeslin Mice

Book:Chaos Choreography

Source: Chaos Choreography

“And I’m stubborn, if you want absolute obedience, get a Labrador.”

Humour Comeback

Book:Feral Sins

Source: Feral Sins