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Quote by Craig Ferguson

“Democrats are calling Christine O'Donnell 'the Sarah Palin of the East.' Really? She's a loud, emotionally unstable woman from Delaware. That's not Sarah Palin, that's Joe Biden.”

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Craig Ferguson

English biography, 120-180 words more

“Scientists say over the next hundred years, the coast of California will sink almost five feet. So the presidential candidates need to do something. Mitt Romney is conflicted. On one hand, he denies that global warming exists. But if California is under water, he would definitely win the next election.”

Ifs Needs Years Hands Next Winning Water Five Feet Hundred Scientist Election Deny California Presidential Candidates Global Warming Coast Romney Presidential Candidate

Author:Craig Ferguson

“The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.”

America Three Cities Driving Riverside

Author:Craig Ferguson

“CBS announced they're canceling As The World Turns. Don't worry though, if you're addicted to the twisted plots, the intrigue, the illicit sex, you can still watch golf.”

Ifs World Stills Turns Sex Watches Worry Golf Plot Intrigue Twisted

Author:Craig Ferguson

Quote by Craig Ferguson

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