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Quote by Justin Halpern

“If it's not bourbon or sweatpants, it's going in the garbage.... No, don't get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time.”

Quote by Justin Halpern

Work

Shit My Dad Says

This book compiles a series of tweets that have gained popularity for their clever and often nonsensical commentary on the absurdities of life. The tweets, originally shared by Justin Halpern, offer a humorous take on father-son relationships and everyday occurrences, capturing the essence of family dynamics and the quirks of human behavior. more

Author

Justin Halpern
Justin Halpern

Justin Halpern is an American author known for his memoir 'I'm Just a Guy, I'm Not a Drug Dealer'. The book is based on his personal experiences and tells the story of his journey from a typical teenager to a successful writer. more

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“I have terrible nightmares, you know. Every night when I come home from a long day’s dying, I take off my skin and lay it nicely on my armoire. I take off my bones and hang them up on the hatstand. I set my scythe to washing on the old stove. I eat a nice supper of mouse-and-myrrh soup. Some nights I drink off a nice red wine. White does not agree with me. I lay myself down on a bed of lilies and still, I cannot sleep.”