“God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.”
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Source: The Life of St. Teresa of Avila
“Trying on jeans is my favorite thing. Maybe later I can get a pap smear from an old male doctor.”
“Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.”
“You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?”
“Do you need sex advice? Here's a tip. Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on.”
“My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.”
