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Raccoons Quotes

Browse 35 quotes about Raccoons.

Raccoons Quotes

“The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.”

PersonsCountryProblemRunningFormEnergyAnimalMiddleHumorousScientistBillsCancerOilEnormousDepartmentSandEtcCowsRatsEasternLaboratoryDinosaursRaccoonsBulldozers
Author:Dave Barry
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“I know nothing, by experience, of party discipline. I would rather be a raccoon-dog, and belong to a Negro in the forest, than to belong to any party, further than to do justice to all, and to promote the interests of my country. The time will and must come, when honesty will receive its reward, and when the people of this nation will be brought to a sense of their duty, and will pause and reflect how much it cost us to redeem ourselves from the government of one man.”

PeopleKnowsMenCountryGovernmentNationsInterestJusticePartyDogHonestyDutyDisciplineCostRewardsForestsOne ManPausesRaccoons
Author:Davy Crockett
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“I grew up in New Hampshire. My closest neighbor was a mile away. The deer and the raccoons were my friends. So I would spend time walking through the woods, looking for the most beautiful tropical thing that can survive the winter in the woods in New Hampshire.”

BeautifulWalksJourneyGrewFriendsWalkingGrew UpMy FriendsWinterWoodsNeighborMilesWanderHikingClosestSpend TimeTrekkingStrollingDeerSaunteringMiles AwayTropicalWalking AwayHampshireNew HampshireRaccoons
Author:Steven Tyler
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“The thing to remember about love affairs," says Simone, "is that they are all like having raccoons in your chimney." ... We have raccoons sometimes in our chimney," explains Simone. And once we tried to smoke them out. We lit a fire, knowing they were there, but we hoped the smoke would cause them to scurry out the top and never come back. Instead, they caught on fire and came crashing down into our living room, all charred and in flames and running madly around until they dropped dead." Simone swallows some wine. "Love affairs are like that," she says. "They are all like that.”

SometimesRunningRememberCausesRoomsKnowingFireWineAffairCaughtSmokeFlamesLitLove AffairLiving RoomChimneysWine LoveRaccoonsCrashing Down
Author:Lorrie Moore
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“It is only now, these years later, that Rahel with adult hindsight recognized the sweetness of that gesture. A grown man entertaining three raccoons, treating them like real ladies. Instinctively colluding in the conspiracy of their fiction, taking care not to decimate it with adult carelessness. Or affection. It is after all so easy to shatter a story. To break a chain of thought. To ruin a fragment of a dream being carried around carefully like a piece of porcelain. To let it be, to travel with it, as Velutha did, is much the harder thing to do.”

MenYearsRealStoriesDreamCareThreeEasyFictionBreakPiecesAdultsHarderAffectionRuinsChainsThings To DoConspiracyGesturesEntertainingSweetnessFragmentsHindsightCarelessnessGrown ManPorcelainRaccoons
Author:Arundhati Roy
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“Shane padded back to the couch and flopped, sucking on his own can of soda. Eve shot him an exasperated look. “Yeah, man, thanks for bringing me one, too.” The raccoon eye make-up exaggerated her eye roll. “Dork.” “Didn’t know if you wanted zombie dirt sprinkled on it or anything. If you’re eating this week.”

IfsKnowsMenLooksEyeWantedWeekEatingShotsYeahThanksDirtHer EyesZombieCouchesExaggeratedShaneSodaDorkRaccoons
Book:Glass Houses: The Morganville Vampires
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“As in 'The Three Billy Goats Gruff'?" The skull howled with laughter. "You just got your ass handed to you by a nursery tale?""I wouldn't say they handed me my ass," I said.Bob was nearly strangling on his laughter, and given that he had no lungs it seemed gratuitous somehow. "That's because you can't see yourself," he choked out. "Your nose is all swollen up and you've got two black eyes. You look like a raccoon. Holding a dislocated ass.”

LooksSaidTwoEyeThreeGivenBlackLaughterTalesAssNosesNurseBobLungsSkullsGoatsNurserySwollenBlack EyesStranglingRaccoons
Book:Small Favor: A Novel of the Dresden Files
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