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Religion: The Ultimate STD: Living a Spiritual Life without Dogmatics or Cultural Destruction

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Leviak B. Kelly

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“There is a notion that complete impartiality is the most fitting and indeed the normal disposition for true exegesis, because it guarantees a complete absence of prejudice. For a short time, around 1910, this idea threatened to achieve almost canonical status in Protestant theology. But now we can quite calmly describe it as merely comical.”

BibleScriptureHermeneuticsKarl Barth
Book:Church Dogmatics 1.2: The Doctrine of the Word of God
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“A sapient cat looking at humanity's salad garden buffet designed by God would not be seen as so much a paradise if the divine is seen as giving this to intelligent cats. It would be seen as quite the opposite. Since cats use plants as emetics and also lack the ability to taste sweet, Eden would be a rather hellish place. It would be a place where God might send a cat to punish the feline. This is because fruits and vegetation to eat would be a place to eat bland foods that cause one to vomit. It would hardly be a beneficial place for cats if this was a place of divine refuge where death did not exist. Again the immortal state would place cats in a rather hellish environment.”

BibleCatsEdenSalad
Book:Religion: The Ultimate STD: Living a Spiritual Life without Dogmatics or Cultural Destruction
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“God's command to Noah that he could eat meat just as he could eat flora would be far more conducive and satisfying to the cat and other obligate carnivores. As a matter of fact the cat reading (yes, it presupposes reading in sentient and sapient cats) the human scripture might truly see the human God as correcting His mistake in the flood that he created in the Edenic account. If the cat saw the scripture as a human rendition of God, there might truly be a belief that the human God was finite and definitely having a more Luciferian nature towards cats.”

GodBibleCatsLucifer
Author:Leviak B. Kelly
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“The cat uses trees, as stated, as many things but here it would not uncommon to see the oak as the marker, not the stone. Cats would spray the tree, not necessarily the rock. A rock as a further marker would be a non-essential redundancy that a cat would more or less ignore. It would be like saying one needed to ignore the law of God (written on the stone) to honour their promise to not honour foreign gods. The human reaction of obvious strangeness would begin here. If the tree is seen as an item to climb, the rendition would get more queer to the human interpretation.”

BibleCatsGod S Law
Book:Religion: The Ultimate STD: Living a Spiritual Life without Dogmatics or Cultural Destruction
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“As Deborah sits below a tree to give advice to her people, the cat could envision itself above Deborah. In the cats mind, the visual allusion would first point to the prophetess as being a predator. This consideration would not be hard to reach for the lucid intelligent cat as she is giving advice to her people here as how to engage in war. Envisioning this text, the cats would find it hard not to recognize the predatory nature of the human beneath it. This fact means that Deborah becomes, in feline hermeneutics, the antagonist. The prophetess would be seen as a danger to the cat. This could lead the cat to deduce that the enemy of the prophetess was a fellow protagonist. Then the advice that Deborah gave to Barak would seem as a malicious attack on a ally or worse an innocent.”

BibleTreesCatsBarakDeborah
Book:Religion: The Ultimate STD: Living a Spiritual Life without Dogmatics or Cultural Destruction
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