“I walk into the clubhouse today and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic. We have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and by the 7th inning he'd already drunk it.” TodayFunnyThreeWalksFiveFourWalkingDoctorsBaseballAlcoholDrunkBrokeBottlesTherapistsBack WhenTrainersClinic Author:Tommy Lasorda
“Don't call 'em dogs. Dogs are loyal and they run after balls.” RunningFunnyDogBaseballBallsEmsLoyal Author:Louise Brown
“I gave (pitcher) Mike Cuellar more chances than I gave my first wife.” FirstsFunnyChanceWifeBaseballMikePitcher Author:Earl Weaver
“On this special Fathers Day, we'd like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday.” FunnyFatherWishSpecialBaseballVery HappyFathers Day Author:Ralph Kiner
“The artist is the only one who knows that the world is a subjective creation, that there is a choice to be made, a selection of elements.” KnowsWorldMadeArtistChoicesCreationElementsSelectionSubjective Author:Anais Nin
“There'll be two buses leaving the hotel for the park tomorrow. The 2:00 bus will be for those of you who need a little extra work. The empty bus will leave at 5:00.” NeedsLittlesTwoTomorrowEmptyLeavingExtrasParksHotelBusExtra Work Author:Dave Bristol
“There are only two things a manager needs to know: When to change pitchers and how to get along with your players.” KnowsNeedsTwoPlayerManagersTwo ThingsPitcher Author:Bucky Harris
“We need three kinds of pitching: left-handed, right-handed and relief.” NeedsKindThreeLeftReliefPitchingLeft Handed Author:Whitey Herzog