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Quote by The Harvard Lampoon

“I noticed there was garlic above the doorframe. Edwart held a stake in one hand and a 'Team Jacob' shirt in the other.”

Quote by The Harvard Lampoon

Book:Nightlight: A Parody

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Nightlight: A Parody

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The Harvard Lampoon

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“I want to leave all my friends and the sunlight for a small, rainy town.”

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“Then, suddenly, I remembered the accident, and Edwart's snow-proof body, and his eyes that changed from I-don't-remember to green, and I knew.”

Book:Nightlight: A Parody

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“So all this time you thought I was a vampire?' Edwart whispered furiously, pulling me a few inches to the left. 'Sure,' I said, 'you know, the lion falls for the lamb...' 'What?' 'Sorry. It's easier for me if I explain things in animal terms.”

Book:Nightlight: A Parody

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“I balked. Another vampire? I guess it made sense; the states of the Pacific Northwest were known for their lenient monster laws.”

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“It suddenly occurred to me that, after all that frolicking in the meadows, he hadn't kissed me. Was it because of the mold that grew in my sinuses?”

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“I had a dejected, brooding expression on my face, and I could tell from the reflection in the window that it was also an intriguing expression.”

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Book:Nightlight: A Parody

Source: Nightlight: A Parody

“I had never been into society; for me the world was the enclosure of the college and the seminary. I had a vague knowledge that there was a something called woman, but I never dwelt upon the subject; I was absolutely innocent. I saw my infirm old mother only twice a year; that was the extent of my connection with the outside world.”

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“You should have seen the costumes for the last few prom themes: Pimps and their srteet ho's; CEOs and their office ho's; GI Joes and their combat ho's; Gardeners and their garden hose;Firemen and their fire hose... If you ask me, a 'masquerade' theme isn't flattering for anyones features, nor does it define the apppropriate gender roles very clearly.”

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“If something in the dark isn't right, all you need is a little light!”

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“(Jack) Hey Twiner, you still alive? (Twiner) Yes. (Jack) Ok, good. Just checking. (Twiner) Hey Jack? (Jack) Yes? (Twiner) You still alive?”

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