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Quote by Mike Birbiglia

“They really cut to the chase in the urologist's examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.”

Quote by Mike Birbiglia

Book:Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories

Work

Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories

This book delves into the author's experiences, offering a candid look at the challenges and triumphs of everyday existence through a series of candid and often humorous narratives. more

Author

Mike Birbiglia, born on June 20, 1978, is an American comedian known for his self-deprecating and humorous style. He often finds humor in personal stories and everyday occurrences. Birbiglia gained prominence in the comedy world through his personal narratives and monologue comedy, winning the hearts of audiences with his unique approach. more

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“I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"”

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“I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do you guys hate me?"”

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“I was made to believe that my life was going to be fixed and it wasn't. I'm still the same loser who had flown to Los Angeles on my sister's frequent flier miles just six days before.”

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“So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I had been meaning to knock it down to negative 1000.”

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“I went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky.”

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“I didn't realize how good I was with technology until I met my parents... my dad told me "You're good; you should be a computer programmer." I said, "You're bad... you should be a caveman."”

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“I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!"”

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“I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy.”

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“I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I'm home?' And my mother said, 'You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.' And I said, 'Yes, but you see, I've reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?'”

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