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Quote by Haruki Murakami

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First Person Singular: Stories

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Haruki Murakami

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“I know how affected this sounds, but I want to die so bad I can’t stand it. From the time I was born, all I’ve ever thought about is dying. It would be better for everybody if I did—that’s clear enough. But I can’t seem to do it. Some strange kind of, fearsome kind of god keeps stopping me... My work means nothing. I have no masterpieces and no spectacular failures. If people say a piece is good, it’s good, and if they say it’s bad, it’s bad. It’s like breathing—in and out, in and out. What scares me is that, somewhere in this world, there is a God. There really is one, right?... There is a God, right?”

“The Heian Period (794–1185) was Japan’s classical era, a time of peace and opulence, when the imperial court in Heian-kyō (“Capital of Peace and Tranquility”: later Kyoto) was the fountainhead of culture, and the arts flourished. Toward the end, however, political power slipped from the aristocracy to the warrior class, the decline of the imperial court led to the decay of the capital, and peace gave way to unrest. This was the part of the Heian Period that interested Akutagawa, who identified it with fin-de-siècle Europe, and he symbolized the decay with the image of the crumbling Rashōmon gate that dominates his story. Director Kurosawa Akira borrowed Akutagawa’s gate and went him one better, picturing it as a truly disintegrating structure, entirely bereft of its Heian lacquer finish, and suggestive of the moral decay against which his characters struggle. His film Rashōmon (1950) was based on two of Akutagawa’s stories, “Rashōmon” and “In a Bamboo Grove.” Both—themselves based on tales from the twelfth century—reach far more skeptical conclusions than the film regarding the dependability of human nature and its potential for good. (Jay Rubin)”