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Quote by Bill Maher

“I love Jesus. I just don't like the Christians who don't believe in what he says.”

Quote by Bill Maher

Author

Bill Maher is an American comedian, political commentator, and television host. Known for his sharp political satire and humor, he is best recognized for hosting ABC's 'Politically Incorrect'. Born on January 20, 1956, Maher's career spans television, film, and stage performances, as well as writing and producing. more

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“I kid the Republicans, with love. I feel bad for them. They got nobody for next time. Who are they gonna run? Sarah Palin, reading off her hand. Did you see that? You saw this? She wrote "tax cuts" on her hand. A Republican so stupid she has to be reminded of the one thing - Tax cuts! This is like if you saw the coyote's paw and it said "Road Runner".”

Ifs Feels Said Hands Running Kids Reading Next Saws Cutting One Thing Stupid Republican Taxes Next Time Runners Palin Tax Cuts Paws Coyotes Road Runner

Author:Bill Maher

“Love does not conquer all.”

Love Doe Conquer

Author:Bill Maher

“The House okayed the gasoline tax cut, which will increase the deficit, line the pockets of the oil companies, and hurt the environment; Dole said that if there was just some way this could interfere with people's sex lives, it would be perfect legislation.”

People Ifs Way Said Would Be House Sex Hurt Lines Perfect Company Environment Cutting Taxes Increase Oil Pockets Interfere Legislation Deficit Tax Cuts Gasoline Oil Companies

Author:Bill Maher

“And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has a pack in his back, my answer is, if someone was feeding him answers, couldn't they be able to feed him better ones than he came up with?”

People Ifs Able Answers Theory Conspiracy Packs Feeding Conspiracy Theory

Author:Bill Maher

“Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?”

People Care Take Care Hezbollah

Author:Bill Maher

“The president is not doing well with African Americans. His popularity rating - his approval rating - with blacks: two percent. Two percent. That is somewhere between Mark Fuhrman and sickle cell anemia.”

Wells Two President Percent Mark Cells African American Approval Popularity Rating Approval Rating Anemia Sickle Cell

Author:Bill Maher

“The Founding Fathers were more deists. If you had to categorize them as anything. There was some sort of moving prime force. But it's an impersonal force. Some people call it Nature. Certainly not this personal god who you have a personal relationship with, who listens to your prayers and answers them, or doesn't. You know, not the silly stuff that most Americans believe because we're such a dumb nation.”

People Ifs Knows Believe Moving Father Force Nations Stuff Prayer Answers Silly Dumb Prime Founding Our Prayers Personal Relationships Deist Silly Stuff

Author:Bill Maher

“Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security - hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if the government forbids gay men from tying the knot, what is their alternative? They can`t all marry Liza Minnelli.”

Ifs Men Should Government School Social Security Republican Gay Prison Hey Alternatives Privacy Social Security Knots Gay Men

Book:New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer

Source: New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer

“The Democrats are very bad at selling their own product. The Republicans are geniuses at it. And I've said it before, a bad product well apologized for is superior in this country to a good product.”

Wells Said Country Democracy Products Genius Republican Democrat Superiors Selling

Author:Bill Maher

“We don't like mystery. You like mystery, 'cause it's not a mystery to you; you know when you're gonna get laid.”

Knows Causes Mystery Getting Laid

Author:Bill Maher