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The Lion, the Fly and the Most Eligible Girl in the World

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Kiera Nixon

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“On an early morning scouting trip in the foothills north of Los Angeles, two van-loads of crew people fan out over an area that the production designer wants to make into a guerrilla army encampment. I stay close to the vans, keeping an overview of the area and waiting for the director to emerge. It’s a warm sunny day. Most of the crew is wearing shorts and running shoes. The director is another story. He climbs out of his van wearing a location-specific hunter-outdoorsman khaki outfit complete with an impressive pair of lug-sole hiking boots and walks off in the general direction the crew has taken, thumbing through some script notes. A few seconds later he steps squarely into a pile of dog-doo that everyone else has successfully navigated. I watch, transfixed, as he leaps back in horror and freezes. He does not spot me as he quickly looks around to see if anyone has noticed his predicament. No one else has. He hurriedly examines the bottom of his now-disgusting hiking boot. I take a deep breath and step from beside the van, pretending I am deeply involved in a conversation on my walkie-talkie. As I walk toward him, I pull a little folding penknife from my pocket and flip the blade open. I hand it to him without a word as I pass and continue on toward the location, still pretending to be talking into the radio. I round the corner of a building and find a vantage point. The director is hopping up and down on one foot, hurriedly scraping the bottom of his boot with the tiny knife. He finishes the messy job, pulls himself together, and strides purposefully around the building and toward a clearing where the crew has gathered, waiting for his comments. I quickly take my place as the director approaches. He walks briskly past me and without looking, hands the little knife back to me with the dog-doo-covered blade still open. He continues on to the front of the group and with complete authority runs through his ideas for the scene. Over the next few months of filming, neither of us ever mentions the incident.”

PretentiousnessPointless RuminationsPretentious Weenies
Book:Best Seat in the House - An Assistant Director Behind the Scenes of Feature Films
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“When Jesus says, "Blessed are the poor in spirit," He does not mean everyone. He means those who feel it- who understand it. Blessed - approved by God - are the people who keenly feel their inadequacies, helplessness, unworthiness, and emptiness. They do not hide these things under self-sufficiency but are honest about them, grieved by them, and driven to seek and put total dependence on the grace of God.”

Poor In The Spirit
Book:The Beatitudes: Livingout The Heart Of Christ
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“Now and then, as I mature and think about myself just a millimeter less, I hope our trip inspired someone to achieve his or her unthinkable. To me, if nothing more ever comes from this journey, I hope that when a child one day achieves his or her dream of becoming a lawyer, professional athlete, etc., they can rightfully say that I had an impact on them. I don't want credit for their accomplishments. I just want someone to say, "That guy made me want to chase my dreams.”

NarcissisticHumor InspirationalHumble Bragging
Book:The Long Road North
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“The promise of a hopeful future is motivation for the pursuit of my dreams.”

HopeMotivational QuotesDreamsPursuitHopefulLailah Gifty Akita AffirmationsMotivational InspirationalDreams QuotesMotivational QuoteDream BigDreamingDreams Come TruePurpose Driven LifeMotivatePromisesDreams InspirationalDreams And RealityHope And FaithPursuit Of KnowledgeHope And DespairHope For The FuturePurpose In LifeMotivatingHope For Each DayHopeful QuotesPursue Your PassionDreams And WishesHope And LifeDreams Coming TruePromises Of GodHope For The HopelessHope Lailah Gifty AkitaProHope For Children
Author:Lailah Gifty Akita
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“The whole course of things being thus entirely changed between us and the ancients, and the moderns wisely sensible of it, we of this age have discovered a shorter, and more prudent method, to become scholars and wits, without the fatigue of reading or of thinking. The most accomplished way of using books at present is two-fold: either first, to serve them as some men do lords, learn their titles exactly, and then brag of their acquaintance. Or secondly, which is indeed the choicer, the profounder, and politer method, to get a thorough insight into the index, by which the whole book is governed and turned, like fishes by the tail. For, to enter the palace of learning at the great gate, requires an expense of time and forms; therefore men of much haste and little ceremony are content to get in by the back door.”

SatireIndexNamedroppingDilettantePseud
Book:A Tale of a Tub and Other Satires
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