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Quote by Tommy Cooper

“So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".”

Quote by Tommy Cooper

Author

Tommy Cooper was a renowned British comedian, known for his unique comedy style and slapstick performances. Born on March 19, 1921, he passed away on April 15, 1984. Cooper's exaggerated physical language and humorous dialogue won the affection of audiences worldwide, making him one of the most famous comedians of the 20th century. more

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“So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".”

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“And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.”

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“So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".”

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“So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?"”

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“Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.”

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“I backed horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.”

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“I went into a butchers and I said, 'I'll have a pound of sausages. 'He said, 'I'm very sorry, sir, we only serve kilos in here. 'I said, 'Okay then I'll have a pound of kilos.'”

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“'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'”

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“Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.”

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