“A lot of the experiences I write about could be described as grasping for boundaries, trying to find the limits of things.” Quote by Melissa Febos
“At a glance, addiction, sex work, mad passion, and all forms of extreme behavior might look like pushing or trying to obliterate boundaries when, more honestly, they are a search for them. I want to find the endpoint, the place where my own powers end, so I can yield to something that I'm certain is bigger than me.” WantTryingLooksI CanEndsMightFormCertainPassionSexMy OwnBehaviorBiggerMadAddictionExtremesHonestlyBoundariesPushingYieldGlancesSex Work Author:Melissa Febos
“Children's stories force logic upon the gruesome facts of our lives. They mirror our troubles and submit them to a chain of causality.” ChildrenFactsStoriesForceOur LivesTroubleLogicMirrorsChainsSubmitCausality Author:Melissa Febos
“Our lives are a long series of acquiring and then sloughing narratives.” LongOur LivesSeriesNarrative Author:Melissa Febos
“I think we all are born inside of our parents' narratives. We stay there for a good while. We are taught their narratives about everything: their marriage, the world, God, gender, identity, etcetera. Then, at some point, our own narrative develops too much integrity to live inside that story. We don't ever fully escape it, but we move into our own stories.” ThinkingWorldStoriesMovingParentBornToo MuchIdentityTaughtIntegrityGenderNarrativeGender IdentityEtcetera Author:Melissa Febos
“When I was a kid, I was told that I had a biological father, but that he didn't have much importance. I had an adoptive father who was present, who loved me, who was up to the task. And he was. So, I didn't question that story, until I was thirty-two, and suddenly realized that I was curious, that he did have something to do with me.” TwoStoriesKidsFatherTasksImportanceCuriousThirtyBiological Fathers Author:Melissa Febos
“The lovers enter into a story together - "this how we met, this is how we were meant for each other" - and then at some point (in my experience, at least), the story splits, and they no longer share it. Then, you either change the story, or you break up. I've always broken up.” StoriesTogetherBreakShareBrokenLoversMetsSplitsBroken Up Author:Melissa Febos
“All our stories are part invention - the way we've decided to make sense of what has happened.” WayStoriesHappenedDecidedInventionMake Sense Author:Melissa Febos
“Sometimes I see my students, especially the ones with a gift for the lyrical, reaching far outside the realm of their own experience for language and images. I understand this impulse. We think, in the beginning, that striking exotic words together will create something entirely new. That we must be worldly in our vocabulary. We idolize the styles of other writers and don't trust or perhaps yet know our own.” ThinkingKnowsSometimesTogetherLanguageStyleStudentsImpulseRealmsReachingWorldlyVocabularyExoticDon't TrustLyrical Author:Melissa Febos
“You don't have to write like David Foster Wallace or James Baldwin or Maggie Nelson - indeed, you shouldn't. Those writers are doing it better than you ever could.” WritingBetter Than YouNelsonMaggie Author:Melissa Febos
“I've always looked very closely at people, and seen a lot; that was true even when I was a kid. That's what made me a good domme, but it's also what makes me well suited to being a writer, and a teacher.” PeopleWellsMadeKidsTeacher Author:Melissa Febos