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Quote by Ross W. Greene

“People still look askance at a kid in the supermarket who's pitching a fit and think the parent is not sufficiently in control or not being sufficiently punitive. That's an issue for a lot of parents as well.”

Quote by Ross W. Greene

Author

Ross W. Greene is a renowned psychologist and author, known for his contributions to the field of child and adolescent behavior issues. His books, 'The Lost Boy: How to Understand and Help the Challenging Child' and 'Social Emotional Learning: How to Help All Children Succeed in School and Life,' have had a profound impact on educators and parents. more

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“When people are rushed, they're stressed and you greatly increase the likelihood of being punitive and unilateral just because you're trying to grasp control.”

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“The vast majority of things parents and kids get in conflict over are highly predictable. We're disagreeing about the same expectations the kid is having difficulty meeting every hour, every day, every week. Because it's predictable, we can have these conversations proactively. That is very hard for people.”

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“Parents are much more likely to be attuned to what they don't like than they are to the expectations that the kid is having difficulty meeting.”

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“Challenging behavior is just a signal, the fever, the means by which the kid is communicating that he or she is having difficulty meeting an expectation.”

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“Everybody is talking about the behavior. Behaviors float downstream to us. We need to paddle upstream. The problems that are causing the behaviors, that's what's waiting for us. It's a crucial paradigm shift.”

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“It's a whole lot more productive to be in problem-solving mode than it is to be in behavior modification mode.”

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“When there's a good fit between skills and expectations, there's what we call compatibility, and we would expect a good outcome. When there's a poor fit between expectations and the capacity of the kid, there is incompatibility, and that's when we see people exhibit challenging behavior.”

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“People don't scream or swear or pout or sulk when there's compatibility. But most growth occurs when there's incompatibility. When it comes to resilience, when it comes to pulling yourself up when you've fallen down, you don't learn those things when things are going well. You learn those things when you're struggling.”

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“It's so crucial to really get a good handle on what's getting in the way of the kid completing a homework assignment. It can be so many things.”

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