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Ross W. Greene

Ross W. Greene Quotes

Author

Ross W. Greene is a renowned psychologist and author, known for his contributions to the field of child and adolescent behavior issues. His books, 'The Lost Boy: How to Understand and Help the Challenging Child' and 'Social Emotional Learning: How to Help All Children Succeed in School and Life,' have had a profound impact on educators and parents.

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All Kids People Problem Behavior Parent Expectations Ifs Challenges Conflict Difficulty

Famous Ross W. Greene Quotes

“Half of teachers leave the profession within their first four years, and kids with behaviour challenges and their parents are cited as one of the major reasons.”

Behavior Parents Teachers Schooling Parents Responsibility Lost At School

Book:Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them

Source: Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them

“A kid shouldn't need a diagnosis to access help.”

Students Teachers Special Education Lost At School

Book:Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them

Source: Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them

“You want to teach all kids the skills that are on the better side of human nature: empathy, appreciating how one's behavior is affecting other people, resolving disagreements in ways that do not involve conflict, taking another's perspective, honesty.”

People Way Want Humans Kids Sides Teach Human Nature Honesty Perspective Skills Conflict Behavior Empathy Appreciate Disagreement

Author:Ross W. Greene

“You're your kid's partner, not the person who's pulling all the strings.”

Persons Kids Partners Strings Pulling

Author:Ross W. Greene

“A lot of parents aren't exactly sure how to go about solving a problem with a kid in a way that's mutually satisfactory - doing that with their child feels very foreign to a lot of people. It probably explains why so many parents tell me their kids don't listen to them and why so many kids tell me that they don't feel heard.”

People Way Feels Children Problem Kids Parent Heard

Author:Ross W. Greene

“There is still quite the vibe out there that as a parent you have to be completely in control and in charge.”

Author:Ross W. Greene

“Being completely in control is a fantasy.”

Author:Ross W. Greene

“The idea that we can take this lump of clay and mold it into a form of our choosing is absolutely ludicrous.”

Ideas Form Clay Mold Lumps

Author:Ross W. Greene

“People still look askance at a kid in the supermarket who's pitching a fit and think the parent is not sufficiently in control or not being sufficiently punitive. That's an issue for a lot of parents as well.”

People Thinking Wells Looks Stills Kids Parent Issues Fit Pitching Supermarkets

Author:Ross W. Greene

“Most parents are accustomed to dealing with problems in the heat of the moment.”

Moments Problem Parent Heat Accustomed Dealing With Problems Heat Of The Moment

Author:Ross W. Greene

“When people are rushed, they're stressed and you greatly increase the likelihood of being punitive and unilateral just because you're trying to grasp control.”

People Trying Increase Stressed Likelihood

Author:Ross W. Greene

“The vast majority of things parents and kids get in conflict over are highly predictable. We're disagreeing about the same expectations the kid is having difficulty meeting every hour, every day, every week. Because it's predictable, we can have these conversations proactively. That is very hard for people.”

People Hard Kids Parent Hours Week Conversation Conflict Expectations Difficulty Majority Meetings Predictable

Author:Ross W. Greene

“Parents are much more likely to be attuned to what they don't like than they are to the expectations that the kid is having difficulty meeting.”

Kids Parent Expectations Difficulty Meetings

Author:Ross W. Greene

“Challenging behavior is just a signal, the fever, the means by which the kid is communicating that he or she is having difficulty meeting an expectation.”

Mean Kids Challenges Behavior Expectations Difficulty Meetings Communicate Signals Fever

Author:Ross W. Greene

“Everybody is talking about the behavior. Behaviors float downstream to us. We need to paddle upstream. The problems that are causing the behaviors, that's what's waiting for us. It's a crucial paradigm shift.”

Needs Problem Waiting Talking Behavior Crucial Floats Paradigm Paradigm Shift

Author:Ross W. Greene

“It's a whole lot more productive to be in problem-solving mode than it is to be in behavior modification mode.”

Whole Problem Behavior Productive Problem Solving Modification Behavior Modification

Author:Ross W. Greene

“When there's a good fit between skills and expectations, there's what we call compatibility, and we would expect a good outcome. When there's a poor fit between expectations and the capacity of the kid, there is incompatibility, and that's when we see people exhibit challenging behavior.”

People Kids Challenges Poor Fit Skills Behavior Expectations Capacity Outcomes Exhibits Compatibility Incompatibility

Author:Ross W. Greene

“People don't scream or swear or pout or sulk when there's compatibility. But most growth occurs when there's incompatibility. When it comes to resilience, when it comes to pulling yourself up when you've fallen down, you don't learn those things when things are going well. You learn those things when you're struggling.”

People Wells Growth Struggle Resilience Fallen Scream Swear Pulling Compatibility Incompatibility

Author:Ross W. Greene

“It's so crucial to really get a good handle on what's getting in the way of the kid completing a homework assignment. It can be so many things.”

Way Kids Handle Crucial Homework Assignments Completing

Author:Ross W. Greene

“Kids are overprogrammed these days.”

Kids These Days

Author:Ross W. Greene

“School is very demanding these days.”

School These Days

Author:Ross W. Greene

“No kid should be getting three or four hours of homework a night. There's no breathing time, there's no family time, there are just extracurriculars and homework and then go to bed.”

Should Kids Night Three Hours Four Bed Breathing Homework Family Time

Author:Ross W. Greene

“If we're sitting at dinner and there's no conversation going on because everybody's got their head someplace else in their iPhone, that's a family problem that needs to be solved.”

Ifs Needs Problem Conversation Sitting Dinner Iphone Family Problems

Author:Ross W. Greene

“Solutions can't be imposed. That just fosters resentment.”

Solutions Resentment

Author:Ross W. Greene

“If a solution isn't mutually satisfactory, it's not going to stick.”

Ifs Solutions Sticks

Author:Ross W. Greene

“Over 18 years of us solving problems together, my daughter has shown me that she's got a good head on her shoulders, that she is pretty good at solving the problems that affect her life. If she wants my input, she gets it.”

Ifs Want Years Problem Together Daughter Shoulders My Daughter Problem Solving Input

Author:Ross W. Greene

“If we're being unilateral, then communication does not happen, the relationship does not happen.”

Ifs Doe Happens Communication

Author:Ross W. Greene

“We never get to see that our kid is capable of solving problems on her own. We never start to build up the faith that they can actually do it.”

Problem Kids Capable Problem Solving

Author:Ross W. Greene

“We have forgotten that those skills on the more positive side of human nature have to be taught, have to be modeled, have to be practiced.”

Humans Sides Human Nature Taught Skills Forgotten

Author:Ross W. Greene

“Be your kid's collaborative partner, but also be a collaborative partner with the folks at school. Schools can be pretty unilateral too. Show them you know how to collaborate. Show them this is not about power. Let them know detentions and suspensions and paddling don't solve the problems that are affecting kids' lives. Those problems can be identified and solved but not by being punitive.”

Knows Shows Problem Kids School Know How Folks Solve Partners Suspension Detention Paddling

Author:Ross W. Greene

“My advice to educators is collaborate with parents; they know a lot about their kids.”

Knows Kids Parent Advice Educator

Author:Ross W. Greene

“For a very long time, people have been saying to me, "What if you want to do this approach with every kid?" For a behaviorally challenging kid, you're parenting this way just to help bring the kid's behavior under control and to greatly reduce conflict. But you want to teach all kids the skills that are on the better side of human nature: empathy, appreciating how one's behavior is affecting other people, resolving disagreements in ways that do not involve conflict, taking another's perspective, honesty.”

People Long Helping Kids Challenges Teach Human Nature Honesty Perspective Conflict Behavior Empathy Appreciate What If Disagreement

Author:Ross W. Greene

About the Author

Born: November 5, 1957
Known for: Author
Quotes: 32

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Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help ThemRelated source material

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