Quotessence
Home / Quotes / Quote by Christopher Titus

Quote by Christopher Titus

“My first car was a 1977 Oldsmobile Delta 88. Ugly car. More ugly on this car than a Rolling Stones group photo.”

Quote by Christopher Titus

Create image

Author

Christopher Titus
Christopher Titus

Christopher Titus is an American comedian known for his unique humor style and autobiographical comedy. Born on October 1, 1964, he has had a career in comedy for over 30 years. Titus' work often involves personal experiences, including his family background, marriage, and professional challenges. more

You May Also Like

“I say we spend some money, clean up some junkies and make them all go work for the Red Cross. You ever give blood to the Red Cross? Little paper hatted trainee kid, just sticking you full of holes. Golly, jeez, this is way harder than the deep fryer, how does this work? You get an ex-junkie in there, bap-bap, he's gonna find a vein. You're in, you're out, you got sugar cookie and you're happy!”

WayGivingLittlesDoeKidsBloodPaperRedCrossesHarderCleanHolesSugarVeinsExesCookiesJunkieRed CrossTraineesGiving BloodSugar Cookies
Author:Christopher Titus
Create image

“My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer. Weddings, Funerals, Water Skiing, Parent-Teacher Conference. When I got sick around him as a kid growing up, he'd always warm me up a shot of 100 proof whiskey. Never got sick... that I can remember.”

MenI CanHardKidsRememberFatherParentWaterGrowing UpTeacherGrowingDadShotsSickDrinkingMy DadWarmProofBeerFuneralConferencesWhiskeySkiingKids Growing UpParent Teacher ConferenceWater Skiing
Author:Christopher Titus
Create image

“The Los Angeles Times reported that sixty-three percent of American families are now considered dysfunctional. Good. 'Cause that means when Armageddon really happens, thirty-seven percent of this population is going to lose their minds. Oh my God, the world is over! Us sixty-three percent? We're going to go, Hey... there's no one watching the Lexus dealership! We're going to the Apocalypse with leather and a CD changer! You guys have been great. Thank you.”

WorldMindMeanHas BeensHappensGuyThreeCausesLosesPercentSevenPopulationHeyThirtyLos AngelesSixtyApocalypseLeatherCdsArmageddonAmerican FamilyGood CausesLexus
Author:Christopher Titus
Create image