“In dating, if you say no, your lover goes on to the next person. In marriage, if you say no, the person stays.” Quote by Esther Perel
“The attraction of dating is that you don't take yes for granted - - you're fully engaged, there's seductiveness, tension.” DatingAttractionGrantedEngagedTension Author:Esther Perel
“In committed sex, in marriage, people don't feel the need to seduce or to build anticipation - - that's an effort they think they no longer need to do now that they have conquered their partner. If they're in the mood, their partner should be too.” PeopleIfsThinkingNeedsFeelsShouldSexEffortCommittedPartnersMoodAnticipationSeducing Author:Esther Perel
“You know what happens to sex in marriage? Instead of inviting desire, you monitor it. Especially men: You let her sleep late, you take the kids to the park, and all that time you're thinking, "Tonight I'll get some." That doesn't work.” ThinkingKnowsMenHappensKidsDesireSexSleepLateParksTonightInvitingSleep Late Author:Esther Perel
“The mom doesn't become sexy; the woman does. You have to retrieve the woman from the mother. And she may need to separate to do that: a bath, a walk. She must cordon off an erotic space.” NeedsMayDoeMotherSpaceWalksMomSexyEroticBaths Author:Esther Perel
“Women - - and men - - need to understand that a woman's transition is often much longer. The caretaker must leave the place of orientation to the needs of others to the place where she focuses on herself.” MenNeedsMen And WomenTransitionOrientationNeeds Of OthersCaretakers Author:Esther Perel
“There's something very full in knowing that your partner accepts you as is.” AcceptingKnowingPartners Author:Esther Perel
“Acceptance doesn't mean predictability. Sex isn't always for 11 at night - - it's also 'meet at a hotel room at noon'. What you feel during dating can exist at home, if you don't suffocate it.” IfsFeelsMeanHomeNightSexRoomsAcceptanceDatingHotelNoonHotel RoomsPredictability Author:Esther Perel
“People cheat on each other in a hundred different ways: indifference, emotional neglect, contempt, lack of respect, years of refusal of intimacy. Cheating doesn't begin to describe the ways that people let each other down.” PeopleWayYearsDifferentEmotionalHundredIntimacyIndifferenceDifferent WaysCheatingNeglectContemptCheatRefusalLack Of Respect Author:Esther Perel
“Affairs can be powerful detonators. They can invigorate a marriage that's flat, jolt people out of years of complacency. Fear of loss rekindles desire, makes people have conversations they haven't had in years, takes them out of their contrived illusion of safety.” PeopleYearsDesireLossPowerfulHavensConversationIllusionSafetyAffairFlatsComplacency Author:Esther Perel
“On some level we trade passion for security, that's trading one illusion for another. It's a matter of degree. We can't live in constant fear, but we can't live without any. The fear of loss is essential to love.” MatterPassionLossLevelsSecurityEssentialsDegreesIllusionTradeConstantTrading Author:Esther Perel