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Quote by Dave Barry

“AARP is a large and powerful organization, similar to the Mafia but more concerned about dietary fiber.”

Author

Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life. more

“Ask any real estate broker to name the three most important factors in buying a property, and he'll say: "Location, location, location." Now ask him to name the chief justice of the United States Supreme Court, and he'll say: "Location, location, location." This tells us that we should not necessarily be paying a whole lot of attention to real estate brokers.”

Source: Homes and Other Black Holes

“Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities.”

Years Millions Medical Emergencies Facility Colorado Superb Skiers

Author:Dave Barry

“I always wanted to write when I was a kid; it just never occurred to me that you could have a job that didn't involve any actual work.... I felt it would be fun to have a job like that where you could make stuff up and be irresponsible and get paid for it.”

Writing Would Be Kids Wanted Jobs Fun Felt Stuff Paid Irresponsible

Author:Dave Barry

“I am a world-class weenie when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if God had wanted us to have direct access to our bloodstreams, He would have equipped our skin with small, clearly marked doors.”

People Ifs World Mind Believe Wanted Class Doors Direct Skins Sticks Access Subconscious Needles Subconscious Mind World Class

Book:The World According to Dave Barry

Source: The World According to Dave Barry

“I do not mean to suggest for a moment that all it takes to be a top executive is a custom-tailored European suit. You also need the correct shirt and tie.”

Needs Mean Moments Suits Shirts Ties Executives Customs T Shirt Suits You Tailored

Book:Claw Your Way to the Top: How to Become the Head of a Major Corporation in Roughly a Week

Source: Claw Your Way to the Top: How to Become the Head of a Major Corporation in Roughly a Week

“I took an estimated two thousand years of high school French, and when I finally got to France, I discovered that I didn't know one single phrase that was actually useful in a real-life French situation.”

Knows Years Two Real School Situation Thousand High School Real Life France Phrases Thousand Years

Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

“If God had wanted us to spend all our time fretting about the problems of home ownership, He would never have created beer. This is not to say that I am recommending that you totally ignore your responsibilities as a homeowner and just sit around all day with a can of beer in your hand. No indeed, I have long been a believer in purchasing bottled beer, and pouring it into a chilled glass.”

Ifs Long Problem Home Hands Wanted Responsibility Glasses Believer Beer Our Time Ownership Pouring Purchasing Fretting Chilled Homeowners Home Ownership

Book:Homes and Other Black Holes

Source: Homes and Other Black Holes

Quote by Dave Barry

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