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Professor Arnold Ehret

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“A common theme for heterosexual Black women participating in our healing circles and communal dialogue is that when they begin to unpack long-unaddressed trauma, they often find the root of that trauma in a man—either her father / father figure growing up or a man with whom she had a romantic relationship. That realization is both enlightening and deeply painful, as many of us have wanted nothing more in our quest for love and security than to be seen, heard, and protected by our Black men.”

“An important part of the unlearning phase is to affirm your own truths. Seek deeper understanding and solace for your own healing by creating emotional distance from your parents' response, acknowledging your different perspectives, and offering them forgiveness and understanding that they truly may have done the best they could with the tools they had.”

“What happens when water gets into a crack and it freezes?" "It expands," I said. "Makes the crack bigger". "Unhealed trauma is a crack. And all the little hard things that trickle into it that would have rolled off someone else, settle. Then when life get cold, that crack gets bigger, longer, deeper. It makes new breaks. You don't know how broken she was or what she was trying to do to fill those cracks. Being broken is not an excuse for bad behavior, you still have to make good choices and do the right thing. But it can be the reason. And sometimes understanding the reason can be what helps you heal.”