“MRI machines sucked. They really, honestly sucked. You lay motionless inside a cramped metal tube that made you feel like a torpedo waiting for launch, and weird noises went off around you as you fought off claustrophobia you’d never had before for an hour that seemed to last approximately one thousand years.”
“Strong could be dealt with—but crazy? Oh no. You never knew what the crazy were going to do.”
“I think all people who are obsessed with other people's sex lives are hiding something.”
“What doesn't kill you can be ignored until the immediate crisis has passed.”
“He hated YouTube. He wished it would die of mad cow disease.”
“He needed to wear that bell around his neck and randomly intone, “Unclean,” to warn people.”