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Quote by Svetlana Chmakova

“My mom says . . . there are bad people who hurt others for fun . . . and there are good people who do it by accident. Like, they make a mistake? I think you're a good person.”

Quote by Svetlana Chmakova

Book:Awkward
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Awkward

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Svetlana Chmakova

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“As if reading his mind, Lily huffed. “You’re as predictable as the spring rains, son of mine, and as boring as drying paint. Unless there’s an emergency, you’re home every night by seven, you eat dinner by yourself, go for a run, watch exactly one hour of TV by yourself, and go to bed at ten o’clock. If God ever loses his watch, he only has to look at Lance Beaufort to get back on schedule.” ... “I’ve been having trouble with my phone,” he tried. Lily took two strides to the desk, leaned over it with both hands braced on the surface, and stared. “Okay, yes! I have been over there. But it’s for work. And…and it’s work related!” “Oh? Explain that to me, because I thought you were the sheriff, not in training for a role in Lassie.”

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Book:How to Howl at the Moon
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“Instead of heeding her advice to listen to his conscience, Stromboli had tricked her. Lied to her. The first way you begin to lose yourself is with a lie, Mamma had taught her. A lie keeps growing and growing until it's as plain as the nose on your face. "Mamma's wise words," Chiara murmured to herself. "If only they would help Stromboli, too." As soon as she uttered the command, the wand in Stromboli's hand began to glow. The boy laughed and laughed, thinking gold was about to rain from the ceiling and that his wish would soon come true. But the magic gathered around his nose... which began to grow. "Papa!" he screamed, coming to a halt. Remo seized his stool, raising it high and threateningly. "What are you doing to my son?" "Teaching him something that you would also do well to learn," Chiara replied. Outwardly, she maintained her composure, but her heart raced as she witnessed the wand's power. Let it be temporary, she commended it silently. "You will treat others the way you wish to be treated. And a lie will not get you what you want.”

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Book:When You Wish Upon a Star
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“We also have a growing population of unwelcome out-of-town wildlife species that have come here and clearly intend to stay. Two invasive species in particular have caused serious concern: Burmese pythons, and New Yorkers. The New Yorkers have been coming here for years, which is weird because pretty much all they do once they get to Florida is bitch about how everything here sucks compared to the earthly paradise that is New York. They continue to root, loudly, for the Jets, the Knicks, the Mets, and the Yankees; they never stop declaring, loudly, that in New York the restaurants are better, the stores are nicer, the people are smarter, the public transportation is free of sharks, etc. The Burmese pythons are less obnoxious, but just as alarming in their own way.”

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Book:I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood
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“A man was asleep in his open hut, when a huge snake bit him and swallowed his foot. The idea of this happening is enough to drive chills up any person’s spine. The snake then proceeded to chomp its way up the man’s leg, until it couldn’t go any farther. The man’s yelling and screaming brought people running to the rescue. Men with machetes hacked away at the thrashing monster, until the snake finally released its hold. Local legend has it that the man survived but lost his mind in the ordeal and hasn’t been sane since. Trinidad does have huge snakes including Pythons and South American Anacondas. The island, known for its snakes, has the greatest diversity of these reptiles in the Caribbean.”

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Author:Captain Hank Bracker, "Salty & Saucy Maine"
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