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The Husband Stitch

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Carmen Maria Machado

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“It has always struck me as patronizing when intelligent people caution, in a discussion of transgender, that we must distinguish between trans extremists and the alleged majority of trans-identified persons and activists who do not participate in attacks on women. I think of the multiple times feminists have been reprimanded for speaking about misogyny and, predictably, someone would insist, “not all men are like that.” Or they might accuse us of hating men when the actual problem is woman-hating.”

“What is at stake in the transgender conflict is not just an individual person’s ‘feeling’. Rather, this anti-woman and anti-feminist ideology is having a far-reaching impact on legislation normalizing that men can be women, often with no input from women who would be harmed by the legislation. Unfortunately, where transgender legislation is on the docket, public opinion lags behind public policy.”

“Transgenderism is a contrived ideology born of a regressive biologism that, in its latest version, champions men who claim female brains and female penises. It’s a rogue idea, an unscrupulous philosophy that, to modify Virginia Woolf ’s words, serves as a looking glass “possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man” back to himself as the woman he aspires to be (Woolf, 1929, p. 35). Self-declared women (men) spend a lot of time in front of any mirror that reflects their idealized women back to themselves.”

“Trans activists insist that these groups change references to women’s vaginas or breast-feeding and instead call women ‘front holes’ or ‘chest feeders’. Yet it’s OK for self-declared women to be preoccupied with natal women’s reproductive functions in their quest for womb transplants and ability to breast feed, in trans speak known as ‘chest feeding’. Others define natal women as ‘menstruators, egg producers, breeders, uterus owners, or non-men’, terms that degrade and dehumanize and reduce women to body parts. When feminists resist, we are decried as transphobes. We have come to a point where even those who ‘identify’ as feminists seem eager to cede the definition of woman to men.”

“Como he dicho, el caso de La Manada y el libro de Nerea Barjola hicieron que muchas periodistas nos cuestionáramos la forma en que cubríamos las historias de violencia sexual: ¿qué es necesario contar?, ¿qué detalles sirven para explicar lo que sucedió y cuáles son solo morbo?, ¿eso solo depende de la forma y del contexto en que lo cuentes?, ¿está sirviendo este relato para concienciar o está sirviendo para atemorizar?, ¿estamos contando la violencia sexual de una forma que pueda despertar a la sociedad o lo que estamos haciendo es asustar más a las mujeres?, ¿estamos poniendo el foco en la estructura o lo estamos poniendo en las particularidades que impiden que la gente reconozca que esa violencia es producto de un sistema mucho más complejo?”

“We must therefore distinguish the necessary feminist demand for “equal pay for equal work” from the equally important need to keep some parts of our social, cultural, and spiritual life out of the marketplace. We must not convert all gift labors into market work lest we wake one day to see that universal market in which all our actions earn a wage and all our goods and services bear a price. There is a place for volunteer labor, for mutual aid, for in-house work, for healings that require sympathetic contact or a cohesive support group, for strengthening the bonds of kinship, for intellectual community, for creative idleness, for the slow maturation of talent, for the creation and preservation and dissemination of culture, and so on. To quit the confines of our current system of gender means not to introduce market value into these labors but to recognize that they are not “female” but human tasks. And to break the system that oppresses women, we need not convert all gift labor to cash work; we need, rather, to admit women to the “male,” money-making jobs while at the same time including supposedly “female” tasks and forms of exchange in our sense of possible masculinity.”