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Quote by Terrence Real

“One of the few stable statistics in our fast-changing world is our rate of divorce, which has hovered between 40 and 50 percent for the last thirty years. Any two people who marry face a grim 50 to 60 percent chance of survival. And if that weren’t sobering enough, one needs to ask further: Of those who remain together, how many do so happily, as opposed to those who stay for external reasons, like their children, finances, religion, or fatigue? Conservatively, we can estimate that at least one out of three, perhaps one out of two, of those couples left standing do not relish their lives together.”

Quote by Terrence Real

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Terrence Real

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“The upshot is, if we want a happy love affair, we need to put some hours into having some romance, too. The hour or two we set aside for sensual connection with the Naked Date needs that support to help keep our arousal accessible. That means we want to plan for a bit of romance in our marriage, as well planning for our sexual time, and adapt ourselves to its nature.”

“Family life relies upon the glue between a wife and husband (or wife and wife, husband and husband in same-sex marriages.) When we start letting that glue get dry and crusty, it starts to chip away at the very foundation we’re counting on for our family life. Intimacy, plain and simple, is that glue. Going for months at a time without connecting with our partner sensually will, over time, take chunks out of the very bedrock we’re counting on to keep our family intact. Our kids rely on us to keep our love and family together, so we have to have an ethic of doing just that.”

“Our partnership is the primary bond. Not our kids. And as compelling as it is to turn our full attention to our new baby, our toddler, our young kids or our teens, if we leave our partner out in the cold, we will chip away at the very core of what holds our loving family together. We will, without doubt, put our family at risk. We have to find balance. Though it’s not always easy, with a little practice and a few simple shortcuts applied, we can realistically do it. Love is an active verb.”

“But the heart & soul of our union was then, & is still today, intense, luminescent conversation. Even to the writing of this very sentence, if Jada & I begin a conversation, it is a minimum two-hour endeavor, & it is not uncommon that we talk for five or six hours at a stretch. Our joy of pondering & perusing mysteries of the universe through the mirror of each other’s experience is unbridled ecstasy. Even in the depths of disagreement, there is nothing in this world that either of us more cherished or enjoys than the opportunity to grow & learn from each other through passionate communication.”

“The best thing we can bring to our marriage is willingness. We have to love our partner enough to be willing to try to make our experience together more peaceful, more honest, more courageous, more open-hearted, and more sensual. To bring our A game to the table and start taking steps to play it out. I truly believe that the skills of loving well can be learned, simply and easily—and that, in fact, they need to be learned. T”