Quotessence
Home / Quotes / Quote by David Richo

Quote by David Richo

Work

亲密关系的重建

Browse quotes and source details for this work. more

Author

David Richo
David Richo

David Richo is an American writer born in 1940. His works primarily focus on personal growth, spiritual cultivation, and interpersonal relationships, which are well-received by readers. more

You May Also Like

“Romance is the best way to begin a relationship and is a bridge to a more mature commitment. But we should not be surprised that it does not last. It is a phase that builds a bond, but it is not a mature bond in itself. Nature designed romance to bring people together to mate, to propagate the species, and to support one another. In this phase the sexual energy is high, and so is the adrenaline. However, continued high adrenaline levels lower our immune response and eventually undermine our health. Thus, in the best interests of our health, romance lasts only as long as is needed for sex and procreation to occur.”

LoveRomanceRelationshipsPsychology
Book:亲密关系的重建
Create image

“On first glance, relationship addiction looks exactly like the romance phase of any relationship. The difference is that romance is phase appropriate, whereas addiction defies flux and attaches itself to the crest of excitement and drama. Romance moves on; addiction halts and paralyzes us. Addiction is unsatisfiable because, ultimately, satisfaction flows from moving over the curve of exhilaration to repose while addiction tarries at the crest of excitement.”

LoveRomanceRelationshipsPsychologyAddiction
Book:亲密关系的重建
Create image

“In healthy relating, we connect but do not attach. We can only really possess what does not possess us. This leads us to the great irony of addictive relating: We attach and thereby do not have. The second irony is that the more we rely on someone for security, the less secure we feel. It is sometimes frightening to realize how much impact a partner has come to have on our life and thoughts. We may react in counter-phobic ways like getting even closer!”

LoveRelationshipsPsychologyAttachment
Book:亲密关系的重建
Create image

“If closeness was associated with danger in the past, it may remain so as a post-traumatic stress reaction. The fear of closeness and engulfment is subtle and long-lived; we are only released from it when we work through it and practice overriding it again and again. We do this when we allow the other person to direct our love rather than controlling how much or in what way we show it. To let go of control that way is terrifying to someone who fears closeness.”

LoveRelationshipsPsychologyTrauma
Book:亲密关系的重建
Create image

“I asked a Catholic friend who kindly offered to ask several Catholic theologians if it was okay to fantasize about Jesus having sex with the Virgin Mary in all the positions of the Kama Sutra. They agreed to debate the topic and came up with this unanimous conclusion: Cognitive flooding would be okay if the goal was healing and not entertainment.”

HumorPsychologyCognitive Behavior Therapy
Book:Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety
Create image