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I Took a Plane to Die in Denver

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Mr. Joshua Shaw

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“I cannot BELIEVE the nerve of some people, dog-earing the pages of the books! Do they think they OWN the books? I think you should give a bookmark to every single person who checks out a book. I mean it. THEY ARE RUINING EVERYTHING! I will help make the bookmarks if that's what it takes.”

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“You see," the tourist went on, "you know that thing you do with seaweed?" Bethan, brought up on the Vortex Plains, had only heard of the sea in stories, and had decided she didn't like it. She looked blank. "Eat it?" "No, what you do is, you hang it up outside your door, and it tells you if it's going to rain." Another thing Bethan had learned was that there was no real point in trying to understand anything Twoflower said, and that all anyone could do was run alongside the conversation and hope to jump on it as it turned a corner. "I see," she said. "Rincewind is like that, you see." "Like seaweed." "Yes. If there was anything at all to be frightened about, he'd be frightened. But he's not. The star is just about the only thing I've ever seen him not frightened of. If he's not worried, then take it from me, there's nothing to be worried about." "It's not going to rain?" said Bethan. "Well, no, metaphorically speaking." "Oh." Bethan decided not to ask what "metaphorically" meant, in case it had something to do with seaweed.”

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