“We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.
Was it better to be with Tereza or to remain alone?
There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself? That is why life is always like a sketch.”
Quote by Milan Kundera
“In the 12-step program, the reason you are successful in recovery is because you stopped trying to impose your willpower on your addiction and have instead turned your recovery over to a higher power. But if our personal willpower is unable to conquer our addiction, then how do you explain all the people who are in long-term recovery who don’t believe in a higher power? How did they recover? Fortunately, there are many paths to dealing with addiction that don’t involve a higher power.”
Source: Gambling Addiction: The complete guide to survival, treatment, and recovery from gambling addiction.
“Your mission, if you chose to accept it, is to understand, fight and ultimately defeat your urge to go gamble. Here’s a bold statement: If you can win these battles, you will stop gambling. What would happen if every time you got that strong urge to go gamble you fought it, wrestled it to the ground, stomped on its throat till it croaked and then kicked it into the gutter? Seriously, how fun would that be? How good would that feel?”
Source: Gambling Addiction: The complete guide to survival, treatment, and recovery from gambling addiction.
“Think of the 10,000 suicide victims last year who might still be alive today if they had won that battle with their urge on their fateful day. Believe this: This next urge might be your life-or-death battle. You need to win it. Prepare. Arm yourself. Fight as if your life depended on it. Because it does. What follows are your weapons in this fight.”
Source: Gambling Addiction: The complete guide to survival, treatment, and recovery from gambling addiction.
“Urges are a normal part of your recovery. They will always be with you in one form or another. Just as what we are instructed to do during mindful meditation, when we have thoughts, and we accept them just as thoughts, and then we let them pass, simply accept the urge as an urge and as something that is normal during your recovery, and then mindfully allow it to slip away. Urges have a very short half-life — they will lose their power over you in less than a half-hour. Know that it will pass if you can just wait a while.”
Source: Gambling Addiction: The complete guide to survival, treatment, and recovery from gambling addiction.
“You experience an urge (as I have been all week while writing this chapter), then you step back, both metaphorically and literally, and say to yourself, “I’m having an urge that makes me want to go gamble.” Then you pause. Then you again step away a few more paces and say to yourself, “Now I’m noticing that I’m having a thought that creates an urge and makes me want to go gamble.”
Source: Gambling Addiction: The complete guide to survival, treatment, and recovery from gambling addiction.
“The more you can separate yourself from your addiction, the better you will be able to apply the many ideas in this book. CBT, mindfulness, DBT, acceptance, self-compassion. All these techniques require a degree of separation between you and your addiction. Work on that separation. It is important.”
Source: Gambling Addiction: The complete guide to survival, treatment, and recovery from gambling addiction.
“There are a lot of tools out there that can make it possible for you to limit your ability to have cash. You can get a credit card that doesn't work in casinos, you can have a close friend handle your bank accounts, you can hire a trusted payee, you can buy a timed safe, and you can voluntarily exclude yourself from all the nearby casinos. If you have the strength and commitment, it is theoretically possible to make it so you can never have cash in your pocket. Theoretically possible, yes, but unlikely. We addicted gamblers, when we are in heat, seem always to be able to find a way to acquire cash. We will use pawn shops, steal, embezzle, and borrow (while lying) from friends. Please understand what financial controls can and can't do. They can help you to resist or postpone a trip to the casino, "Damn...my husband's wallet has only thirty-five dollars in it, not enough...". They can limit the amount of damage you incur when you do go to the casino, "Sorry sir, this credit card will not work here." But, if financial controls are your only plan, or the primary plan that you have for treating your addiction, not only will this probably not work, you might be setting yourself or your loved one up for even more serious trouble. If the addict feels the need to gamble strongly enough, and if the addict does not have any other tools to fight that powerful urge except a temporary lack of cash, guess what they will do? My guess is, they will "get cash" by whatever means they can.”
Source: Gambling Addiction: The complete guide to survival, treatment, and recovery from gambling addiction.
“You should never rely on financial controls alone to stop you from gambling. Think of them as a secondary tool, like getting good exercise or meditation. They can help by putting up barriers that can cause you to pause, and then be able to work on your “urge warfare” skills, or they can simply give you more time and separation from your urge. But in the end, they are unlikely to stop an addicted gambler with an overwhelming urge to gamble and with no skills to fight that urge. The addiction will find a way.”
Source: Gambling Addiction: The complete guide to survival, treatment, and recovery from gambling addiction.
“When the magnitude of these losses by the addict is discovered, the spouse, or partner, or parent, or whoever else is vulnerable to losing their own money because of the addicted loved one, needs to take actions immediately. The NCPG website has an excellent section on all the precautions a loved one needs to take to segregate and protect their assets from the gambler. If you are in that “significant other” category, do not be shy about doing this. Do not feel guilty about imposing financial controls and protection for yourself and family, you are doing the addict a favor, and maybe even saving their life.”
Source: Gambling Addiction: The complete guide to survival, treatment, and recovery from gambling addiction.
“As we addicted gamblers plunge into our addiction, and as we see and know how much financial damage we are doing to our family and friends, our despair, shame, and guilt multiply. All too often this leads to suicidal thoughts and actions. Therefore, the sooner you can keep family assets safe from the gambler, the less likely you will have to deal with the horrifying aftermath of their death.”
Source: Gambling Addiction: The complete guide to survival, treatment, and recovery from gambling addiction.
