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Getting Off: One Woman's Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction

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Erica Garza

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“A cesspool of past wounds has created men who have worked hard to protect themselves from revisiting emotional pain by learning not to feel. In fact, they have done such an excellent job in erecting protective walls they are not fully aware of the depth of their brokenness. But, if they believe their issue starts and ends with their addictive behaviors, they – and their clinicians – are sadly mistaken. -- "Why Men Struggle to Love”

“Dylan mumbled, “Yeah. Sure. Okay, I guess.” “And don’t sleep with Bunny again. Don’t even so much as look at her in a way that might make her panties slippery. Understand?” Dylan stopped abruptly in the hallway. “Why? Give me one good reason.” “Because you want to be loved, and every time you’re not loved you feel worse about yourself. And Bunny is definitely not going to love you.”

“For us men, sex is the most important thing in the world. Men feel about sex the way vampires feel about blood. They don't just like it, they crave it. That's why vampire stories always have strong sexual undercurrents. A vampire's hunger is simply a metaphor for a man's lust.”

“Unfortunately, incest is still quite common and is rife in families with a history of addiction. It is not unusual to hear of a daughter being subjected to incest on the part of her alcoholic father or grandfather, or the adult child of an alcoholic practising incest with her own children. Many recovering drug addicts, sex and love addicts or love avoidants have been victims of incest.”

“Despite the objection from his mother he had decided to visit a clinic with the woman. He knew, he would forever be obliged to her. He had found a job, but he could not keep it because of his addiction. He had no money. The woman paid the expenses. She introduced him to people who would understand his problem and help him deal with it. She made him join Sex Addicts Anonymous. She helped him deal with his urges. He had started to believe that sexual addiction was real. Suddenly, everything made sense. He was not a freak, he had a serious problem. He suffered from a disorder. He had the option to set things straight. He underwent Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which he benefited from. A prostitute had set him free. - from story 109 of You Me & Stories”

“Clinicians must go even deeper when working with individuals dealing with addiction, and that focus needs to be on unresolved childhood pain points. By focusing on behavior modification to deal with addiction, too many counselors are neglecting to ensure we are not cleansing only a client’s damaging behavior but also his soul.”

“Clinicians must go even deeper when working with individuals dealing with addiction, and that focus needs to be on unresolved childhood pain points. By focusing on behavior modification to deal with addiction, too many counselors are neglecting to ensure we are not cleansing only a client’s damaging behavior but also his soul. -- "Why Men Struggle to Love”