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Quote by Eddie Capparucci, Ph.D., LPC

“Clinicians must go even deeper when working with individuals dealing with addiction, and that focus needs to be on unresolved childhood pain points. By focusing on behavior modification to deal with addiction, too many counselors are neglecting to ensure we are not cleansing only a client’s damaging behavior but also his soul. -- "Why Men Struggle to Love”

Quote by Eddie Capparucci, Ph.D., LPC

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Eddie Capparucci, Ph.D., LPC

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“we all make vows, Jimmy. And there is something very beautiful and touching and noble about wanting good impulses to be permanent and true forever," she said. "Most of us stand up and vow to love, honor and cherish someone. And we truly mean it, at the time. But two or twelve or twenty years down the road, the lawyers are negotiating the property settlement." "You and George didn't go back on your promises." She laughed. "Lemme tell ya something, sweetface. I have been married at least four times, to four different men." She watched him chew that over for a moment before continuing, "They've all been named George Edwards but, believe me, the man who is waiting for me down the hall is a whole lot different animal from the boy I married, back before there was dirt. Oh, there are continuities. He has always been fun and he has never been able to budget his time properly and - well, the rest is none of your business." "But people change," he said quietly. "Precisely. People change. Cultures change. Empires rise and fall. Shit. Geology changes! Every ten years or so, George and I have faced the fact that we have changed and we've had to decide if it makes sense to create a new marriage between these two new people." She flopped back against her chair. "Which is why vows are such a tricky business. Because nothing stays the same forever. Okay. Okay! I'm figuring something out now." She sat up straight, eyes focused somewhere outside the room, and Jimmy realized that even Anne didn't have all the answers and that was either the most comforting thing he'd learned in a long time or the most discouraging. "Maybe because so few of us would be able to give up something so fundamental for something so abstract, we protect ourselves from the nobility of a priest's vows by jeering at him when he can't live up to them, always and forever." She shivered and slumped suddenly, "But, Jimmy! What unnatural words. Always and forever! Those aren't human words, Jim. Not even stones are always and forever.”

“[t]he art of talking comes easier to some of us but others. For boys and men, so many of them still socialised in a myriad of destructive ways to hide weakness and took out their difficulties, the idea of sharing deep emotional pain with anyone is often unthinkable, even in the 21st century. When you are punished or mocked if you dare to express, or even have, feelings, you typically put a lot of effort into appearing strong and stoic. Except for anger. Male conditioning is much more accepting of anger, and emotion that is more about 'doing' that 'feeling'. Men are, generally speaking, more likely to deal with distress by doing something: overworking, sex, drinking, drugs, aggression, violence, suicide. What is suicide if not the most decisive of actions, after al. Small wonder then that the ultra-macho prison environment, where having emotions is seen as a sign of weakness, is full of men acting out their distress in harmful ways.”

“I used substitutes for my real needs. I needed rest or relationship or recreation, but I gave myself food or sex or shopping. Since I wasn’t supplying what I really needed, I was never satisfied. I needed to know that I deserved to have my needs met and then I had to start asking myself what I really needed and provide those things.”

“A sex addict is also emotionally anorexic – they must be in order to continue participating in isolated behaviour such as being addicted to pornography and being promiscuous or having multiple affairs. All of these secretive behaviour patterns affect a family and home.”

“Severin's blue-green eyes were friendly and inquisitive. The angle of the light on his face caught his right eye, illuminating the extra green. "This takes a bit of getting used to," he said. "All this smiling and good spirits. You've never been one of those lighthearted fellows." "I'm not lighthearted, I'm... wholehearted." Severin smiled reflectively as they stood to shake hands. "It must be nice," he mused, "to be any kind of hearted.”

“The crowds have never thirsted after truth. They turn aside from any evidence that is not to their preference, preferring to worship falsehood, if falisty seduces them. Whoever can supply them with delusions becomes their master; whoever attempts to destroy their illusions becomes their victim. An individual in a crowd is a grain of sand among other grains of sand, which the wind stirs up at will.”