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Quote by Nkwachukwu Ogbuagu

“An awful season for Kanye West. They are removing him from here and there. They will soon remove him from west and send him to east. He will then become Kanye East.”

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Nkwachukwu Ogbuagu

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“I think that the waiter will melt if he stays outside any longer." "It is possible," I said, grateful to change the subject. "I have heard that that sort of thing happens all over Paris when the weather gets like this. The good restaurants give out Wellington boots so that their patrons won't ruin their shoes when they are wading through the pools of melting waiters.”

Humour Paris Waiters Heatwave

Book:Drifting Onward Down The Stream

Source: Drifting Onward Down The Stream

“If being a gentleman was a guarantee of virtue, the population in this fair land would not be so high.”

Humour Regency

Book:A Season at Sanditon

Source: A Season at Sanditon

“Liverpool have been walking alone ever since they parted ways with Sadio Mane.”

Humour Soccer Liverpool Fc

Author:Nkwachukwu Ogbuagu

“I judge an event by its effects," the doctor was saying in a tone that suggested he thought Mr Wooly judged an event by numerology or the study of tea leaves.”

Humour Sarcasm

Book:The Passionate Witch

Source: The Passionate Witch

“Aunt Maggie turned a gaze on her that would have shrivelled the English Channel to a puddle. She didn't actually say, "Shut yer gob." She didn't have to. Miss Giles shut her gob.”

Humour

Book:Not All Tarts Are Apple

Source: Not All Tarts Are Apple

“Some might think that ten in the morning was a little early to indulge in strong liquor, but Sharky wasn't one of them. He liked a drink, did Sharky, preferably one that lasted from sparrow fart to sack time.”

Humour Alcohol

Book:Not All Tarts Are Apple

Source: Not All Tarts Are Apple

“I knew I had a problem when I found myself saying, to my reflection, in my laptop screen, 'What has two gigantic thumbs and needs to quit social media?' 'This guy'... before bursting into laughter, then tears, then song: the main three things a human can burst into. The fourth being flames. Also the song was the British National Anthem and I don't know why.”

Humor Humour Social Media Social Media Addiction

Book:James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media

Source: James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media

“Their feathers make soft beds,' asserted Pessim. 'And my skin would make excellent drumheads,' retorted the Ork. 'Nevertheless, a plucked bird or a skinned Ork would be of no value to himself, so we needn't brag of our usefulness after we are dead. But for the sake of argument, friend Pessim, I'd like to know what good YOU would be, were you not alive?”

Humour Dead Useful

Book:The Scarecrow of Oz

Source: The Scarecrow of Oz

“Also there’s something very matter-of-fact about pork chops. Heroines of mystery novels are never mentioned eating a dinner of pork chops just before something terrible is about to happen.”

Humour Pork Chops

Book:The Moon by Night

Source: The Moon by Night

Quote by Nkwachukwu Ogbuagu

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