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Quote by Thorne Smith

“I judge an event by its effects," the doctor was saying in a tone that suggested he thought Mr Wooly judged an event by numerology or the study of tea leaves.”

Book:The Passionate Witch

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The Passionate Witch

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Thorne Smith

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“I knew I had a problem when I found myself saying, to my reflection, in my laptop screen, 'What has two gigantic thumbs and needs to quit social media?' 'This guy'... before bursting into laughter, then tears, then song: the main three things a human can burst into. The fourth being flames. Also the song was the British National Anthem and I don't know why.”

Humor Humour Social Media Social Media Addiction

Book:James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media

Source: James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media

“Their feathers make soft beds,' asserted Pessim. 'And my skin would make excellent drumheads,' retorted the Ork. 'Nevertheless, a plucked bird or a skinned Ork would be of no value to himself, so we needn't brag of our usefulness after we are dead. But for the sake of argument, friend Pessim, I'd like to know what good YOU would be, were you not alive?”

Humour Dead Useful

Book:The Scarecrow of Oz

Source: The Scarecrow of Oz

“Also there’s something very matter-of-fact about pork chops. Heroines of mystery novels are never mentioned eating a dinner of pork chops just before something terrible is about to happen.”

Humour Pork Chops

Book:The Moon by Night

Source: The Moon by Night

“There is a god. Her name is karma, and she has a messed up sense of humour.”

God Religion Humour Karma

Book:Blindspace

Source: Blindspace

“If you ever find yourself being born, scramble back inside as quick as you can. Life's all downhill from there.”

Life Humour Nihilism

Book:Blindspace

Source: Blindspace

“I staggered over and sat down with a thump. So violent was my descent and so feeble Warlock's state that the sudden impact of my posterior on the couch tipped him towards me. I waited for him to pull himself upright, but when he rested his head upon my shoulder, I recognised he had no intention of doing so. I was going to protest, but I realised how heavy my own head felt and let it sag down on top of Holmes's. And I'm not embarrassed to say I did it. Good friends support each other. Sometimes structurally.”

Friendship Humour Tiredness

Book:The Sign of the Nine

Source: The Sign of the Nine

“Warlock cleared his throat a few times. "So... you're going to live, Watson?" "Oh, most definitely. It was just a derringer, after all." "Ah. Good news... good news... erm... and we think you'll keep the leg?" "Holmes, I think I'll keep these trousers.”

Friendship Humour Injury

Book:The Finality Problem

Source: The Finality Problem

“In the driveway of the old house,I released my biological family from my unreasonable expectations of how much we could possibly be to one another. How much I expected them to teach me.Do for me. And this freed them to be what they actually are to me. Which is plenty”

Humour Memoir Essays

Book:The Crane Wife: A Memoir in Essays

Source: The Crane Wife: A Memoir in Essays

Quote by Thorne Smith

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