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Susan C. Young

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“Trying to engage with an unapproachable person can lead to embarrassment, alienation, and resistance. Why would we set ourselves up for that kind of pain and failure? It’s no wonder that people may avoid them—the risk of rejection is too great.”

“There are new habits you can adopt starting NOW that make you approachable and encourage other people to engage with you.”

“The approachable individuals are the first ones that I introduce myself to because they make me feel emotionally safe.”

“Ask yourself and become more aware—are you . . . • Speaking poorly of others in judgment, gossip, and intolerance? • Looking for, dwelling on, and obsessing over the negative? • Being grumpy, negative, and infecting others with your bad attitude or victim mentality?”

“Mirroring is a powerful neuro-linguistic programming technique that can be used to bond with others, build rapport, and reach mutual understanding more quickly. You may already be using it instinctively without even being aware.”

“Mirroring is simply the process of discreetly matching and mirroring the subtle behaviors and qualities of the person with whom you are connecting. It's a form of behavioral reflection that unconsciously reveals, "We're more alike than we are different.”

“Mirroring is especially helpful when our differences may divide. Think of the times when you have made a diligent effort to speak in another person’s native language to communicate and connect with comfort. By doing this, you are extending a considerate courtesy to meet them where they are, thus removing barriers and improving engagement.”

“Coordinating your gestures with someone’s subtle behaviors, can help you gain understanding, realize comfortable compatibility, and develop mutual trust.”

“Why Does Mirroring Work? Scientific research suggests ‘mirroring’ techniques works because of the mirror-neurons which are fired in our brains when we both perceive and take action. When we observe someone doing something, we may feel as if we are having the same experience.”

“When you see someone smile, does it naturally make you want to smile back? When you are irritable, do you find that people mirror your irritability? When someone yawns around you, do automatically do the same? When you hear someone celebrating, do you feel inclined to join in and celebrate too? Your responses are not forced, but instinctual and empathetic.”