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Quote by Shubham Singhania

“It is said that light drives out darkness. But is it easy to be the light? To be defeated by the darkness all the time again and again. To be at his mercy and wait for it to play with yourself brutally till it is done with you and leave you feeling scared, ashamed, and alone, plagued by flashbacks of last night’s onslaught, but still keep shining for others.”

Quote by Shubham Singhania

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Dark little corners

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Shubham Singhania

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“חורף… קרח־עולמים מכסה את קירות לבי. שעמום קהה, אשר מפניו תבוֹל כל תשוקה ומנשימתו ימות כל רגש, תוקף את כל פנימיותי, אני מתהווה חסר־תנועה, אני נעשה משא כבד על נפשי. רק דרך מוחי מסתננים תמונת חטמי, קול דברי, זקני, צחוקי, אנחתי – ואני שוטם בי את הכל. נקוט בנפשי על הכל. נכלם ומתבייש מהכל. כל מה שיש בי נראה מאוס, מזויף, נלעג ומעורר־גועל, כל הויתי מעוררת בי רגש של אשמה ורושם של תיעוּב. אין לי מקום.”

“devouring their dark lips, dark with wine and fleeting love, an ancient memory love had promised but finally never gave, until there were too many kisses to count or remember, and the memory of love proved not love at all and needed a replacement, which our bodies found, and then the giggles subsided, and the laughter dimmed, and darkness enfolded all of us and we gave away our childhood for nothing and we died”

“Abe held my gaze a bit longer and then broke into an easy smile. ʺOf course, of course. This is a family gathering. A celebration. And look: hereʹs our newest member.ʺ Dimitri had joined us and wore black and white like my mother and me. He stood beside me, conspicuously not touching. ʺMr. Mazur,ʺ he said formally, nodding a greeting to both of them. ʺGuardian Hathaway.ʺ Dimitri was seven years older than me, but right then, facing my parents, he looked like he was sixteen and about to pick me up for a date. ʺAh, Belikov,ʺ said Abe, shaking Dimitriʹs hand. ʺIʹd been hoping weʹd run into each other. Iʹd really like to get to know you better. Maybe we can set aside some time to talk, learn more about life, love, et cetera. Do you like to hunt? You seem like a hunting man. Thatʹs what we should do sometime. I know a great spot in the woods. Far, far away. We could make a day of it. Iʹve certainly got a lot of questions Iʹd like to ask you. A lot of things Iʹd like to tell you too.ʺ I shot a panicked look at my mother, silently begging her to stop this. Abe had spent a good deal of time talking to Adrian when we dated, explaining in vivid and gruesome detail exactly how Abe expected his daughter to be treated. I did not want Abe taking Dimitri off alone into the wilderness, especially if firearms were involved. ʺActually,ʺ said my mom casually. ʺIʹd like to come along. I also have a number of questions—especially about when you two were back at St. Vladimirʹs.ʺ ʺDonʹt you guys have somewhere to be?ʺ I asked hastily. ʺWeʹre about to start.ʺ That, at least, was true. Nearly everyone was in formation, and the crowd was quieting. ʺOf course,ʺ said Abe. To my astonishment, he brushed a kiss over my forehead before stepping away. ʺIʹm glad youʹre back.ʺ Then, with a wink, he said to Dimitri: ʺLooking forward to our chat.ʺ ʺRun,ʺ I said when they were gone. ʺIf you slip out now, maybe they wonʹt notice. Go back to Siberia." "Actually," said Dimitri, "I'm pretty sure Abe would notice. Don't worry, Roza. I'm not afraid. I'll take whatever heat they give me over being with you. It's worth it.”

“As Meredith walked home through the trees, she noticed how her filter on the world had changed. There were slightly different colors, different smells, an altered feeling. The darkness radiated gem-like hues, and she could smell each part of the forest down to the sweet, earthy beetle shells and musky tree nuts. She felt grounded with a good dirt--- the best, most-fertile soil. Solid, clear, awake. Rooted to the earth. The opposite of her old, hazy self.”

“Here on the walkway lie distant dreams of orange in October, with its outer mystery and inner disfigurement. A shrill cry from a little one pierces the blackness, as the moon is shrouded in a solemn veil. “In our bags place a treat. In our hearts some bittersweet.” And I, “Take what you will of these melting dreams; sweet but for a moment.” As the little soldiers walk away, I turn and go to my inner room. Locking the door, I close my eyes...”