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Quote by Paul Stiles

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Is the American Dream Killing You?: How "the Market" Rules Our Lives

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Paul Stiles

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“Some relationships don’t break you all at once they slowly take away your peace and energy. You start feeling tired, even when nothing big has happened. That’s how you know something is wrong. Love should make you feel calm and safe, not confused and restless. If you always have to explain yourself or fight to be understood, that’s not love, that’s pain. It’s hard to accept, but some people love in ways that hurt. Walking away from that doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you wise because peace is the kind of love you truly deserve.”

“Because [self-esteem] offers indiscriminate affirmation unconnected to genuine accomplishment, self-esteem can foster narcissism, diminish empathy, and stoke aggression. It can also promote bias toward one's own group and prejudice toward other groups. Because self-esteem is comparative, to assess myself favorably, I often must denigrate others. The most powerful and promising alternative [to self-esteem] is called "self-compassion". Self-compassion encourages us to take the middle road in handling negative emotions - not suppressing them, but not exaggerating or over identifying with them either. Self-compassion delivers the benefits of self-esteem without its drawbacks.”