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Quote by Melanie A. Smith

“Giving yourself permission to fall for someone is hard. Well, terrifying, really,” he amends. “But sometimes we have to let go of how we think things should go and just let them happen. It’s the simplest and most difficult part of giving a relationship a go.”

Quote by Melanie A. Smith

Book:Never Date a Doctor
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Never Date a Doctor

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Melanie A. Smith

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“The mother who abandons her daughter leaves a pile of questions behind: Who was she? Where is she? Why did she leave? Like the child whose mother dies, the abandoned daughter lives with a loss, but she also struggles with the knowledge that her mother is alive yet inaccessible and out of touch. Death has a finality that abandonment simply does not.”

LossAbandonmentEstrangementMotherless Daughters
Book:Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss
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“A daughter whose mother chose to leave her or was incapable of mothering may feel like a member of the emotional underclass, like a dispensable part of society whose needs the government has ignored. As a result, she often develops a sense of devaluation and unworthiness even more profound than that of the daughter whose mother has died.”

LossValuableSelf WorthAbandonmentWorthinessEstrangementSelf ValueUnworthinessMotherless DaughtersDevaluation
Book:Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss
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“When the loss of a mother results in family chaos or feelings of abandonment, even the risk of subsequent loss can cause anxiety in the child and inspire behaviors designed to preserve the status quo. As the child matures, this anxiety may extend to concerns beyond and unrelated to the original loss, turning her into an adult who has difficulty making decisions out of fear of catastrophic results. Taking chances may feel too risky to her, and instead she seeks safety through controlling whatever aspects of her life she can.”

FearLossRiskAnxietySafetyDecision MakingAbandonmentMotherless Daughters
Book:Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss
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“Seonggok jagung di kamar dan seorang pemuda yang kurang sekolahan. Memandang jagung itu, sang pemuda melihat ladang; ia melihat petani; ia melihat panen; dan suatu hari subuh, para wanita dengan gendongan pergi ke pasar ……….. Dan ia juga melihat suatu pagi hari di dekat sumur gadis-gadis bercanda sambil menumbuk jagung menjadi maisena. Sedang di dalam dapur tungku-tungku menyala. Di dalam udara murni tercium kuwe jagung Seonggok jagung di kamar dan seorang pemuda. Ia siap menggarap jagung Ia melihat kemungkinan otak dan tangan siap bekerja Tetapi ini : Seonggok jagung di kamar dan seorang pemuda tamat SLA Tak ada uang, tak bisa menjadi mahasiswa. Hanya ada seonggok jagung di kamarnya. Ia memandang jagung itu dan ia melihat dirinya terlunta-lunta . Ia melihat dirinya ditendang dari diskotik. Ia melihat sepasang sepatu kenes di balik etalase. Ia melihat saingannya naik sepeda motor. Ia melihat nomor-nomor lotre. Ia melihat dirinya sendiri miskin dan gagal. Seonggok jagung di kamar tidak menyangkut pada akal, tidak akan menolongnya. Seonggok jagung di kamar tak akan menolong seorang pemuda yang pandangan hidupnya berasal dari buku, dan tidak dari kehidupan. Yang tidak terlatih dalam metode, dan hanya penuh hafalan kesimpulan, yang hanya terlatih sebagai pemakai, tetapi kurang latihan bebas berkarya. Pendidikan telah memisahkannya dari kehidupan. Aku bertanya : Apakah gunanya pendidikan bila hanya akan membuat seseorang menjadi asing di tengah kenyataan persoalannya ? Apakah gunanya pendidikan bila hanya mendorong seseorang menjadi layang-layang di ibukota kikuk pulang ke daerahnya ? Apakah gunanya seseorang belajat filsafat, sastra, teknologi, ilmu kedokteran, atau apa saja, bila pada akhirnya, ketika ia pulang ke daerahnya, lalu berkata : “ Di sini aku merasa asing dan sepi !”

HidupSudut Pandang
Author:W.S. Rendra
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