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The Unfortunate Side Effects of Heartbreak and Magic

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Breanne Randall

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“Det handlar om lugn. Detta har hon lärt sig under många år i vatten och det är något hon är bra på, en färdighet hon har finslipat. Det började eftersom hon inte ville lämna sälarna under ytan - hon ville att hennes kropp skulle klara mer, vara mer som deras, så hon arbetade med den. Hon lärde sig göra sina utandningar längre än inandningarna för att sänka hjärtfrekvensen. Hon lärde sig minska sin syreförbrukning. Hon lärde sig uthärda trycket som övergår i smärta, hon förstår att smärta inte är någonting att frukta. Hon är väldigt bra på lugn. Förutom, förstås, när det gäller hennes pappa.”

“Good parents know when "Go away" means "Hug me." They barge through the door, through the noise, through the pain, and say, "I know you're hurting. I want to help." They keep coming back. Even when they're being pushed away. Good parents also miss big moments, huge moments, with their kids. They're staring at their phone or wrapped up in their jobs or just ignorant about emotional intelligence. Sometimes they're scared to help because their own hurt is a lump in their float. And they end up drowning in guilt for not being superhuman. What's a good parent? It's just so hard to know. It's especially hard that day in Roseville, New Jersey. But maybe, just maybe, we should root for this mom to be braver than she normally is.”

“There is a peculiar phenomenon I’ve observed repeatedly: people who cause measurable harm often become more offended by the discussion of that harm than by the harm itself. What unsettles them is not the damage they created — it’s the loss of narrative control. When someone who has been hurt chooses to speak, document, teach, or even build something meaningful from that experience, it disrupts the offender’s preferred version of reality. The transformation of pain into agency exposes two uncomfortable truths at once: the injury was real, and the injured person was not permanently diminished by it. Instead of apology, repair, or participation in restoration, the response is often indignation. And it’s not because the survivor is wrong — but because accountability has entered the room without permission. Some individuals are less disturbed by the consequences of their actions than by the evidence that those actions can no longer be denied.”